Okay so this blog is going to document a little pity party I am having for myself.
Several months ago my Non Relative Female BFF, Cathy, and I decided to try to schedule a visit. We haven't seen each other in years. Like 5 or 6 years. She lives in Virginia. A year or so ago we had a trip all set up and the day before I was to leave my dad had a heart attack so I cancelled because my mom needed care etc... So we got the date set and the flights scheduled for the 13th of February. I worked my rear hindquarters off at work for weeks to be set to take time off. I rarely take time off and I almost always work weekends so this was rough. There is no one to cover for me so it is hard on the other guys in my office because they get stuck trying to help people etc... Anyhow Yesterday was the Big Day!
Now I know that I seem so totally put together. Confident Strong Fearless but only some of that is true. I never flew until 10 years ago, I hate to drive the LA freeways too. So I took a shuttle from my city to Los Angeles Airport. And the nightmare begins.
Whole big van. Only other passenger has to come sit next to me. Now don't all get "He was into you" and stuff cuz he only needed a warm body to talk at. First off I really wish I had a picture cuz his hair style was rockin. Picture a totally bald head with a Mohawk on top about 4 inches wide and 6 inches long sticking straight up. The the back of the head is long and flowing in a swath about the same width of the hawk. And he is just chattering away. Finally he gets quiet. Might be because I have my eyes closed. But he clearly needs to talk so when he can't put it off any longer he blurts "HAVE YOU NOTICED YOUR WATER PRESSURE IS LOW IN TOWN?" Huh? He goes on to explain his theory on how the 'Government' is slowly lowering our water pressure to get more money off us..... When that topic runs its course he gets quiet again for about half an hour. Then he says "DO YOU KNOW THAT GUY ON CNN.... BILL...... HE HAS A TALK SHOW" I have no idea who he is talking about. I say No sorry I don't. He says "HE IS MARRIED TO CONNIE CHUNG" Now I have a weird brain for remembering less and less that is actually important to my life while still maintaining a weird memory for stuff that makes me good at Jeopardy and makes my family say "Why do you know that?" So I know, for some weird reason, that Connie Chung is married to Maury Povich. Which I think is only because it seems like such a odd combination. So, against my better judgement I say "That is Maury Povich" And he says "NO" Okay dude whatevs. He says "I MET HIM IN THIS AIRPORT AND I TOLD HIM I REALLY WAS HAPPY TO MEET HIM BUT I WAS COOL SO I DIDN"T WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT" And he goes on and on... I realize he is talking about Larry King.
We finally arrive at the Airport and I walk into the Terminal and I receive an email from Alaska Airlines...............
To Be Continued....................