Saturday, November 24, 2012

The Hospital Part 275

Wow, I just realized you never got to hear about the next phase of Laurens hospital stay.  Here it is.    I originally wrote this 2 weeks ago....

Yesterday afternoon it became obvious that my daughter was in too much pain to really be 'normal' for one week post-partum C-Section so we headed over to our friendly neighborhood Emergency Room.

First, to set the scene properly, you have to know that the hospital is undergoing a major renovation.  I am sure this will make our hospital look fabulous but for now it means all the normal entrances are blocked and things that used to be in one place are gone and there are walls where once there were none.  The revolving door is even gone.  So I had to get a wheelchair to bring her inside because she could barely walk and we emerge into a room of probably 50 sick people.  There is coughing, hacking, loogie hocking and my personal favorite; barfing.
There is flu, leprosy, Ebola, Plague, Tse-Tse fly infestation and Mad Cow disease to name but a few.
And there is an air of desperation and despair and being on the edge of certain madness.
Soon we get moved to the 'Green Zone' which is a separate area of the Emergency Room that I am certain has been named after what is coming out of people nasal cavities today.  We are there for approximately 2 hours before I can't stand it any more and go grab some face masks from the nurses station.  Mine was a clown and Lauren's was Richard Nixon.  Those things are so claustrophobic.  About 13 days later we are called into yet another curtained area even further into the bowls of the hospital where there is even more sickness and vomiting sounds.  The person directly next to us is making sure everyone in a 20 mile radius can hear him throw up.  At one point I actually had to go into the restroom because I was gagging myself.  We are there for hours and hours.  During this time they administered various forms of painkillers which is the only bright spot in this ordeal because invariably when the painkillers start to take effect she starts babbling about either what she wants for Thanksgiving dinner or going to Disneyland. Oh, also she makes me promise to get her chicken nuggets when we leave.   And a coke.
 They do tests and poke around and even do a cat scan. Turns out her incision is infected and there is an abscess.  They start her on some antibiotics and finally let us go home at around 3:00am with instructions to get in to her OB first thing in morning. 
But first, the piece de resistance.
As we start sloooooowly walking toward the nurse' station we hear what we think is a child crying. This escalates into sobbing.... to moaning.... to yelling.... to screaming..... to sounds like fighting.... to the calling of a Code Gray at which a regiment of security guards come running (and yes, a few do look like my dog Sam)  Then I am pretty sure they are playing the soundtrack to Exorcist in there.   And at first I think it is sound poor sad mental patient having a major psychotic break with reality. 
But then..... then I know what it  is.......  the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.    It all makes sense now.... first there is the virus and people start getting sick and then they all turn into Zombies.  The hospital even calls it Code Gray.   HELLO?????

You have been warned..............

Noun1.piece de resistance - the outstanding item (the prize piece or main exhibit) in a collection
curio, curiosity, oddment, peculiarity, rarity, oddity - something unusual -- perhaps worthy of collecting
rariora - (plural) rare collector's items
2.piece de resistance - the most important dish of a meal
dish - a particular item of prepared food; "she prepared a special dish for dinner"


1 comment:

ltlrags said...

I'm waiting for part 276 to see if Lauren got the chicken nuggets and Coke she was promised. [sitting on edge of seat]