Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dear Mr Speedo Guy

Dear Mr Speedo Guy At The YMCA;

Yes, we saw you
Yes, we were watching you

I have a few things to discuss with you

Moobs  (Man-Boobs)
It has to be one of the biggest double standards of all time that society dictates that men can walk around shirtless and this is just fine but women cannot.  Apart from this obvious hypocrisy let me just say this:  Just because you can does not mean you should.

Just say "NO" to speedos.  Speedos should be outlawed.  Unless you are in perfect physical shape and you are trying to impress other perfectly fit men, just say "Hell No" to Speedos.  If you must wear one, get one that actually fits.  FYI:  Speedos that actually fit are also called 'board shorts'  Dude, there are small children and sighted people around.  Again, just because you can does not mean you should.

That Thing You Did On The Bench:
Have you been reading my blog and are under the impression that the aquatic area really truly actually is a marine mammal exhibit?  Is that why you climbed up on the bench, laid down on your stomach and then arched your back so that your head and legs lifted in the air which did, in fact, remind me of a Shamu Show I once saw at Sea World.  Is that what you were thinking?  Because:
  • You, sir, are no Shamu
  • Shamu would never EVER wear a speedo
  • Shamu would wear board shorts and a t-shirt to cover his moobs

So, in conclusion Mr Speedo Guy: 
Though we all saw you and your escapades, you should not feel complimented.

Everyone in the YMCA building Monday Night

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