Monday, October 10, 2011

Chickenless Chicken of the Sea

My very helpful Health Coach Ashley recently shared some special treats with me.
I had high hopes for them because, as you can clearly see,
onion flavored SeaSnax are  "Strangely Addictive"

I was worried that I would become instantly addicted to SeaSnax and end up spending
my whole paycheck on them, stealing from my family and friends, selling my body
or end up out on the streets homeless begging at the bottom of freeway ramps:
They could be a gateway sea vegetable.
I could end up nibbling on kelp, driftwood.
Then I am on to small fish.... koi even
Maybe tuna... maybe the dolphins snagged with the tuna....
Sharks... first the small sharks... the on to the Great Whites
(Because white meat has less fat and calories you know)
One day you are snacking on an innocent treat from your Health Coach
The next day you are out trolling for grey whales and nomming on blubber

So before something horrible like that happens to me, I decided to
use my housemates as experimental guinea pigs.
Because I am all about self-preservation.
I started with my niece and her friend.
They were not impressed.


Well, it didnt kill them
So I tried it on Sam.
He acted like it burned his eyes.
And once more he cursed my health crisis for my
vegetarianism (though he is thankful for the occasional bit of cheese now)

So, cats like seafood right?  Mush was up next.
Um, no.
By the way, no animals were harmed in this experiment.

I decided that it was safe to try it on myself.
This is what it looked like before I tasted it
I can't show you the after picture.
I had to spit it out.

There was only one person left in the house
I may be an alien from Vega
But she is unidentified alien from planet

 WTH Are YOU!!



ltlrags said...

If I could write a review of your blog, I would definitely say, "the most consistently hilarious blog in the blogosphere."

JC said...

Ok, you aren't paying this coach are you ? Yuck ... and don't have the cats and dog try it. Are they named Mikie ? No, they are not.