I Don't Know How This Will End

I don't know how this will end

You have all been with me this whole time so I think it is time to come clean

See how it all plays out

I can't do it any more   It is just too hard

Too lonely  Too isolating

Sometimes the hunger is just too much and the hole inside can't be filled the way

things are When I am honest with myself-- when I take a good hard look in the

 mirror-- my choices reveal the condition of my heart.  And for awhile now I have

known that it is time to be honest with you all and with myself

Though I still consider myself to be a true citizen of Vega

I cannot say that I have been true to the true Vegan diet.

I know you are all disappointed--- especially Sheila.

It was the cheese that took me down

Not even the full fat kind either--- the 2%!

I craved the protein that I just couldn't find in the garbanzo. 

Don't get me wrong-- I still love my legumes; the Garbanzos, the Pintos, The

 Blacks and Whites and Browns....

But often the temptation and the cravings control me

I found myself cheating.

It started out so small-- so insignificant. 

Sneaking in a little bit of cheese here and there.  In a salad.  In a sandwich.  In a burrito. 

So easy to justify;  Everyone else does it!  I need to be satisfied-- don't I deserve to be satisfied?

It isn't like killing someone.  I thought I could control it but the need grew and grew and grew.

Then it graduated on to eggs.  In a salad.  In a sandwich,  In a burrito

Finally it manifested itself in the most onerous of ways:  A egg AND cheese burrito!

THOSE DAMN BURRITOS!!

One day I was so bold as to have breakfast with Egg.  Right out there in public.

Shameless-- just the two of us there in a booth together with nary a thought as

to how this one act could snowball into so much destruction!

So okay, it is out there now.

I can't be a part time vegan so I guess that makes me a vegetarian now

Fully committed--- not a carnivore!!

I don't know how this will effect my citizenship on Vega

I don't even know if I will be able to go home now..

Don't Judge Me