One of the things of which I have recently become painfully aware, is that I am consistently uncoordinated in all exercise regimes.
This is quite a talent
In my yoga class I have trouble with balance and I simply cannot do anything that requires that I put all 500 lbs of Hippo weight on my shoulders. The other day I tried and was rewarded with crunching sounds coming from my joints. This is not a good thing. So I do not do downward facing dog nor do I do planking poses. This does limit my participation. So far I have not farted which is good and I have been able to refrain from making hissing sounds when I do the cobra move. Out loud anyhow.
In water aerobics I tend to float off in the wrong direction. And I don't balance well even in the water. On Saturday my bathing suit was trying to fall apart and I accidentally hit someone in the rear end. The bathing suit also tends to add an extra measure of resistance as it is a dress type so it is usually going in the opposite direction from where I am trying to go and riding up around my ears.
And then there is Zumba. I am pretty sure the instructor was born without hip bones. My own personal hips only want to go side to side--- not the other 100 directions his hips go. And I can go low... but not low, low, Low, Low LOW LOW LOW LOW and certainly not without help getting back up!
It is all so different in my imagination. There I have an actual figure--- that is not Buddha-like. My dancing is more Brittany than Seizure. I can do water moves without falling over and getting water up my nose. And I simply Glow rather than sweating drops on my yoga mat or the floor or all over my shirt. I can be the downward dog and I do not recoil in horror when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Maybe someday my reality will match my fantasy.
2 comments:
You are still doing 3 things more than me. I've never even heard of Zumba. Good luck on that one. And I can't do downward facing dog either; I hurt my shoulder doing it a couple years ago and now when I do it the pain returns. Ugh. Old age!
You are tooooo funny!!!! It's a good thing that I didn't have to go off on a gopher safari or something. When I read this blog....I laughed and cried so hard that I resembled the old Alice Cooper....in the eye area, that is.
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