Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dim Bulb

You young people-- mark my words: the day will come with your bright mind will become a flickering bulb.  It will happen to you!
I have a couple examples of what you have to look forward to.
Last Thursday we lost power in our house for about half the outlets up stairs.  We checked the breaker box and we pushed the re-set buttons but nothing worked.  I got the name of a good electrician (Sonner Electric-- I liked him a lot.) but he couldn't come until Monday.  Sadly I cannot sleep if it is quiet.  And I have to have a fan on even if it is pointing away from me.  I go to sleep with the TV timer on and Guy Fieri soothing me to dreamland.  A room with no electricity was not acceptable!!  How could I see to read or watch TV or have a fan on?  I slept in the cat room.  This is the room we have where the cats eat and use their litter box has a bed and a TV--- but there is also a litter box that smells icky and the scratch around in there for 20 minutes every time they use it and they all think they own the place. My sister spent the next two nights with my parents-- mostly to keep an eye on my dad who had fallen and hurt his knee plus he was exhausted and sick.  On Saturday I had a revelation:  I could run an extension cord into my room and have all the necessities of life again.  This  seemingly obvious solution did not occur to either my sister or myself.  For several days we suffered in frustration. HOW SCARY IS THAT??
Seriously--- this really bugs me.
Next example.
Last week I sucessfully registered for an English class at Antelope Valley College (Go Mauraders!!)  This wasn't easy because the computer would not allow me to register because it does not recognize some of the classes I completed when dinosaurs roamed the earth in 1980 (when I received my first AS degree in Very Intellectual Pursuits).  It does not, for example, believe that English 101 is the same course as English 1A in ancient times.  And so it required me to go into the office to get a waiver.  The good people of the college are expanding which means they took 75% of the parking lot (which was already far too few spaces) and build other exciting buildings.  I had to park about a half a mile from the office.  I hiked in, got my waiver after visiting with 4 different counselors including one who put me on a couch and asked me how I felt about my life and since I didn't have all night I gave my rendition of a holiday Christmas Perfect Life letter and got the heck out of there...... Finally I was all set for the class.  Sure, I didn't get the Communications class I needed but I hoped to crash that one.  I only need 3 classes to be done and move along into the California State University system you know.  I walked back to my car feeling self satisfied.  I drove home.  I took a shower.  I went to bed.  What I did not do was pay for my class.  Why?  I forgot.  I had the money.  I just did not have the brain.  And so, along with all the other people who are one brick short of a load, I lost my class.  I will have to start all over tomorrow.
I could cry.
I will get up at midnight tonight to see if I can do it right this time.  Wish me luck.
Last I give you the brain activating butt.
Many hundreds of times a day at work I think of something I need to do but as soon as I stand up and get halfway to whatever it was I needed I forget what I was doing.  I usually stand there for a few moments trying in vain to grasp the lost train of thought but it just chug-chug-chugs away from me while I stand there with a puzzled look on my face.   Until I sit down again--- THEN I remember what I was going to do.  However, if I stand up and take a few steps I lose it again.  This cycle can be repeated over and over and over again.  This leads me to believe that my brain is connected to my butt--- when I stand up the brain stops working until I sit down again.
In conclusion I would like to say that............ that............I uh.......... what was I saying?
I am going to bed.  I have to get up in a few hours and try to register for my class.  Again.  This time I will pay for it right away! And I WON'T STAND UP!

1 comment:

JC said...

While you are sitting down on that behind of yours, write yourself notes ... I live by those !!!