Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Sister Seizure: Part 3

Sunday night my sister had her third Grand Mal Seizure. 
I think this one was caused by the recent Super Moon which more than likely
 sparked her Alien Brain Chip.
If you do not know about that Alien Brain Chip, please CLICK RIGHT HERE to take you to that post from a few years ago.   You should know that she is good with me telling this story.  In fact she interrupted my home work to ask why I hadn't blogged about it yet. 
 I mean it happened DAYS AGO!  Pushy little sister, geeez.
This one started out, as usual, when she was asleep.  As usual my niece heard her
first and ran to get me.  As I was rushing across the hallway I heard her fall out of bed. 
That hadn't ever happened before.
I went to her as she was finishing up the seizing part and starting into the next phase.  If you are not familiar with seizures like this they usually involve shaking and jerking, tongue biting, a loud snoring like sound etc... but this part doesn't last too long.  This is the Tonic-Clonic part of the seizure.  This time it only lasted less than a minute.  The next phase is the Postictal state which lasts for an hour or more.  During this time she starts coming out of it.  She starts focusing her eyes and responding until eventually she is all back and just fine.  
 I think of it as re-booting her brain. 
The Tonic part is shutting it down and the Postdical is it coming back online.
This was a Postictal Party, people.  Since she is on the floor my focus is on keeping her safe and make sure she is breathing.  This time she acted like a 2 year old trying to grab everything she could get her hands on and putting it in her mouth.  I have no idea why.  I had to keep wrestling things away from her.  Her room is a tad messy so this involved a jump rope, a big lamp, makeup, a floor mirror, books, paperwork, etc...  In particular she got ahold of this oriental cat toy and badly wanted to eat it. 

To give you a visual picture this: 
The world has ended and the food is gone.  A woman, scrounging for food, finds The Last Oreo On Earth. A second, obese woman in her pajamas discovers the woman with the Oreo and tries to wrestle it out of her hands.  It is a death match.  No holds barred because woman one is not conscious really and is really really strong.  While they are wrestling one yells to her daughter to get some clothes because the paramedics are on the way.  Her daughter brings her a winter sweater and a denim skirt that a) probably doesn't even fit since she is such a hog and b) is never ever worn without leggings cuz it is really short.  She hears a siren approaching.  She continues to try to drag her sister by the legs away from the sharp edges of the furniture while hearing the joints in her shoulder make that crunchy sound that is never a good sign. Are you getting the picture?  Cuz it is much worse than the time she took something
out of my room and I tied her up with socks and tickled her until she peed her pants
when she was 10 and I was 13.  Much worse.
About 100 paramedics, fire fighters, EMTs, search and rescue, neighbors, Eyewitness News Teams and wrestling referees crowd into the bedroom.  Sister runs across the hall to get dressed.  Puts on jeans and her bra and then is called back into the room where the patient is pissed off, scared and confused and the crowd is just making it worse.  AND THE COOKIE IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!!!!!  The sister tries to calm her  "You are okay.  You will be fine.  I am right here"  She calms a bit.  Our orange stripey cat is curious about all the fuss and starts crawling around meowing.   And so the guy in charge starts asking a million questions:  Is she on medication?  Is she compliant?  Has she had seizures before?  Does she have other medical issues?  How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Can God make a burrito so big He cannot lift it?"  

Sadly for the sister who is lucid, the one question no one seems to think to ask: 
That is right friends, I completely forgot I was only in a bra while I calmly spoke to the paramedics.  And NO ONE EVER TOLD ME!!!!!  HELLO???? Fat woman with no shirt on? 

 Someone couldn't have told me? You have to imagine that I was focused.  Because at some point I did go into my room and put on a shirt.  Do I remember this?  No, but since I had one on when I got to the hospital I have deduced that it did indeed occur.  We walk Sister Seizure down the stairs (Because she will not get in the chair thing) and then we wrestle again over the oxygen mask (gave up) and tried to get her to come out of the bathroom where she has managed to scurry into.  She is wild eyed and scared to death.  Finally we strap her on the gurney and load her into the ambulance where I get my first code three ride to the ER.  Once in the ER she starts to come around.  Slowly.  She is so upset that my heart breaks for her.  She knows she will lose her drivers license again.  She knows that she scared us all especially the younger girls.  Most of all she is frightened by my hair which has now dried and looks like a homeless person's poodle.  Seriously it is really crappy.  The situation, not my hair.  Okay my hair too.  She becomes more lucid and starts remembering her day etc...   She is crying.  About an hour later the doctor releases her.  A standard seizure there is no reason to keep her in hospital.  She has regular visits to her neurologist.  This is just one of those things.
We call my daughter to come pick us up.  It is then, in the car with my sister, niece,
daughter and daughter in law that the girls tell me about the bra thing.  I did not remember   This is how my niece describes it: 
The whole time you were trying to pick my mom up you were wearing just a bra on top and jeans pulled really high.  Then the paramedics showed up and you were talking to them and answering the questions with one hand on your hips and the other one in the air swinging around.  Then you said excuse me and your boobs swished one of the paramedics and your butt swished the other paramedic and everyone glared at you as you walked into your room and got dressed the rest of way. 
Apparently I was so fiercely focused on helping my sister that they were afraid to tell me that I was only wearing a bra on top.  The humiliation of it all.  Or it might have just been that they were all looking forward to snickering about it later.

So there you have it.  Another fun night in the Fenner-Williamson household.
Everyone, including my sister, is doing fine.
Lauren finally has a job:  Chauffeur


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Meg said...

Thank you so much for your kind words on Fin's passing. :-) I am sure Jasmine is looking her up now.