I DID IT!!!!
I got through my stress test and I didn't die!
YAY!!
The test was nothing like I expected.
Here is how it went:
I get there in my shorts and sneakers (Stressor #1)
With no makeup in case I sweat (Stressor #2)
I fill out forms and sit in the waiting area with 10 people who look like
they either died already or will do so at any moment (Stressor #3)
But the worst part
The absolute worst part
They turn on a Discovery Channel DVD
Oceans
Oh Yeah
Fish
On a BIG SCREEN
(Extreme Stressor)
Fish
Schools of Fish
Millions of tiny fish swarming around
Trillions of fish
Oh For The Love Of All That Is Holy--
WHAT KIND OF SICK FREAKS
ARE THESE PEOPLE????
THEY REALLY DO WANT
ME TO DIE HERE!!
Then they took off the electrodes and the blood pressure cuff
and told me my doctor should have the results in 5-7 days.
See no big deal, right?
NO BIG DEAL??? ANOTHER 5-7 DAYS OF WONDERING
IF THE PAIN IN MY NECK IS MY HEART
IF THE PAIN IN MY NECK IS MY HEART
TAKING A LITTLE BEATING BREAK???
SERIOUSLY????
Here are other options for the stress tests:
Showing patients their bills
Jumping out and scaring them BOO!!
Making them sneeze with full bladders
Telling them they are pregnant
Telling them their husband is gay
Making them take a road trip with teenagers
Giving them a fake winning lotto ticket
Forcing them to teach drivers ed with 15 year olds
Giving them my job
2 comments:
While I agree that all of your stress test alternatives being a great source of stress, I would generally recommend avoiding ALL of the above.
:-) Fish? You don't like fish? They are so calming, swift, pretty.
But I had my funeral outfit picked out. Until you get the results, I'll just keep it ready.
Post a Comment