Friday, September 17, 2010

Wayne Made Me Do It

You all remember Wayne, right? My oldest and dearest non-related friend. Wayne and I began our relationship in 1975 I believe.

It was the before the Bicentenial. The country had just seen the end of the Vietnam War. Microsoft was founded. Jimmy Hoffa disapeared. Saturday Night Live premiered. "Jive Talkin" by the Bee Gees went platnum. It was a very long time ago.
It was also the year that Mr. Swenson and some Hamster Experiments brought Wayne and I together. Yes, a Very Long Time Ago.
And so, After lo these 35 years I believe I can trust Wayne.
I hope I can.
Wayne and I (and several other people) graduated from High School in 1980. Apart from making some very good amazing friends including the father of my children, High School was not uniformly wonderful. I think that is where my very deeeeep seated insecurity about my physical beauty was forged.
The last class reunion was our 10th, in 1990. I was still married then. I had little children then. It was okay.
This year they have organized our 30th class reunion. I am not married. I have grown children. I AM TERRIFIED OF GOING TO THIS EVENT.
But Wayne wants to go. And Wayne wanted me to go. And I trust Wayne. Wayne has agreed to accompany me to this event-- not as a date but more like a Hostage. He has promised not to abandon me. If I get drunk and make a fool of myself he will care for me and not dump me somewhere off the side of the freeway.
The marketing for the even tickets states that "If you don't go, others will talk about you behind your back" That is smart advertising!!! Because now you can spend money so they can talk behind your back AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
Wayne loves me. I know this. And it is only someone who loves you that much that is able to email you encouragement about your clothing choices. He says that I out-class him. I say it is not about class it is about being ugly and fat and middle aged. He cannot understand these things. Amazingly Wayne has only gotten more handsome as time as gone by. Same with my ex-husband. I expect that people who see us together will think "OMG LeAnn must have a Fricking Great Personality"
Which is exactly what I know people said about me when Jim asked me to marry him. And this is hard for me to face even all these years later. Jim was a year behind us in school so this is not his reunion though everyone knew him and I still carry his name. But this, dear Geeezers is a very dark and lonely road that I will not drag you down....
Let's talk fashion:
Wayne thinks that I shouldn't go spend a bunch of money on a new outfit. Pshaw!!! Of course I have to have a new dress and shoes!!!



ltlrags said...

LMFAO! Does the zipper on those shoes goes up the side of the dress?

JC said...

You need something that makes you feel fabulous. I never went to my reunions. You are much braver than I am.

monica williamson said...

She looks so great in this outfit....I'm so excited for her!!!