The following is a paid commercial announcement:
Do you have a dead lawn that needs to be removed?
Is your 'green' container full already?
Are you too cheap to rent a dumpster or get a truck?
If you said 'YES' to any of these questions, then Joe's Turf Removal Service may be for YOU!!
Just have your grabnoids tear up your front lawn and then give me a call at 1-800-HAULURCRP and ask for 'Jose'. We will go to the local grocery story coughVallartacough and steal a grocery cart which we will then use to haul off your dead lawn. First, of course, we will fill it up and leave it in your front lawn so you, and probably all your neighbors, can be thouroghly disgusted.
And if you call today we will also, FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE WHATSOEVER take your neighbors trash cans while they aren't looking and put them in your backyard so you have to go over to return them and feel like a total idiot.
YES THIS IS MY REAL LIFE, YOU CAN"T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!