Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My Happy Thursday Fun

So here I sit the night before my little 'procedures'.
Have I described this to you, Geeezers? I think not.

(Fade in.....)
It is the late 1600's
There is a crowd gathered in front of a middle aged woman and one who would judge her.
"Woman, thou is accused of magic and the dark crafts--what say thou?"
"Kind sir, it is not dark arts neither is it adulterous passion, but only the menopause which causes these flashes of heat!"
The man reflects backward into history to find a suitable punishment for the woman.... back into medieval days for something barbaric and cruel as befits her crimes. Yea, a flashback within a flashback.

Aha! Thou sinful woman, thou shalt have an............

Abulation!

The crowd winces, gasps and draws back. This woman must surely be evil to be accorded such a fate.

Flashforward lo these many years to the doctors office as he explains the procedures and the risks of the surgery....

Blah blah blah.... little risk of transfusions.... blah blah blah........ pain drugs..... blah blah blah....sign this.. and this.... and this.... initial here..... wait, the underwriter has an issue with the broken banisters...... wait-- wrong flashback (that is the house-- can you believe they held up getting our keys because there are some broken banisters???).... back to the doctor... blah blah blah..... anethesia.... blah blah blah... no sex for 3 weeks... blah blah blah

WHAT????

HOLD THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!
No sex for 3 weeks.

THREE WEEKS???

THAT is truly barbaric!
That is inhumane
That is like 1.8 million seconds of not having human interaction and affection
NO WAY, PARKAY!!!
No one can live with that!
I almost got up and stomped my own bad self out of there!

(heh and you all know it is going on 13 YEARS since I have done the deed)

Well pray for me, Geeezers!


2 comments:

JC said...

When ? I hope you do ok. I had to look that one up ... didn't have a clue what that was.

Rags said...

I'm praying just as hard as my litte agnostic heart can pray. But no worries, you'll be the best dang ablator the doctor has ever seen. :)