Sunday, March 15, 2015

And I Want A Dog!

So here is a quick update on how my 2015 goals are going:

So far so good.  Mostly.  Last Friday I did have a meltdown which resulted in consuming actual meat.  I am an omnivore, dammit.  I needed some meat.   It was so good. It was amazing.  This is not to say I haven't had ANY meat since the first of the year, just the first time I have had a piece of meat that was big enough to need to be cut into pieces.  I would say it was better than sex but who am I trying to kid-- I haven't had sex in 18 years.  It is not like I even remember it any more.  

Teeth:  Halfway through my dental work.  Only have a root canal, crown and 6 fillings to fix.  Currently the gums are still healing from the wisdom teeth extractions from 2 weeks ago.  I say this optimistically because right now there are two places in my mouth where the jawbone is exposed and I am told that 'Hopefully the gums will fill it".  Meanwhile my tongue is going crazy wanting to touch it and see if it is still exposed.  Like 100 times a day it has to wander over there and check it out.  I would have pictures of it but my phone camera won't flash inside my mouth.  Trust me I have tried.  And I cannot get anyone around me to feel it and/or take a picture.  I have made repeated requests too.  Nada

Work-- still sucks.  Today we went to breakfast and the waitress' boss had taped a "KICK ME" sigh on her back and all I could think of was how lucky she was that at least HER BOSS ISN'T PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

My Parents:  Today we went out to see my Dad's gravemarker and it was the first time to see both their names on their headstone together- which was touching. (Brief stop for inappriopriate humor.  It was touching emotionally.  They actually have their own grave markers that aren't touching.  Someone mentioned going to the zoo today and I had a thought that a cemetary is kinda like a zoo for dead people.  Think about it).  And a little startling I guess seeing it in words.   I haven't made a lot of headway settling their estate because my dad was pretty OCD about keeping everything.  Which is good and bad.  The good part is I have A MILLION PIECES of paper so chances are I have something for every situation.  The bad part is that he moved things around a lot from bank to bank and spread them around to several accounts in each bank.  And his life insurance and federal savings accounts got sold and moved and so I am just sending out letters everywhere and hoping something sticks.  We went through their whole house with a fine toothed comb and didn't find a money stash which I just find hard to believe.  He was the 'cash hidden in a book type' for sure.  But just to through off any burglars off he either hid it so well no one would ever find it or just let people THINK he was a hoarder but actually spent it all on online gambling or something else that would leave no clue as to where it all went.   I mean the man had a sour cream tub on his counter he kept food scraps in-- you can't tell me there isn't some bugging out money in that house somewhere.

Parker:    My grandson is so amazing.  Every day he makes me just stop and feel so blessed to have him in my life.  Also there are times where I ponder how someone so small can be so crazy already.  He reminds me of my Mother:  He talks all the time.  He will fall asleep talking and wake up talking like he never stopped.  He doesn't require, nor especially prefer, that I participate in the conversation.  (To be succinct-- it hardly qualifies as a conversation it is so one sided)  Both of them say (said) a lot of things that don't make sense.  Both of them jump from subject to subject and expect me to have made the jump with them.
The other day he pooped in his diaper, took it off and brought it to his mom.  We realized it is time to potty train.  Oh, wait.... we don't POTTY TRAIN these days, right young moms?  It is Toilet Teaching?  Because you TRAIN a dog but you TEACH your toddler.  Oh, and I suppose it isn't okay to use electric shock any more either?  Or the switch off the tree outside.  Is it still okay to use M & Ms for rewards?  Yeah and I suppose you have to use ORGANIC WHOLE GRAIN Oaty Oohs in the toilet for target practice?    For his 2nd birthday his Papa Fenner (an aged man with a long gray beard who whittles animals out of driftwood and eats head cheese) got him an Elmo Potty Seat.  This is awesome.  Lauren got it out today.  When you 'flush' it Elmo chortles and it makes a flushing sound.  I already hate it.  Why does EVERY kids toy have to make sounds.  I mean COME ON.... SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GROW OLD HERE!

I gotta go...........


ltlrags said...

Loved your description of papa Fenner!

ltlrags said...

Loved your description of papa Fenner!