Here are some snippets of mine on Fathers Day:
Me: Did you hear that Rodney King died?
Dad: You know, he might have been a really good basketball player but with all those tattoos and piercings--- I don't know
Me: Dad that wasn't Rodney King, that was Dennis Rodman.
Someone: When did Dennis Rodman die?
Someone Else: Dennis Rodman? Wasn't he that kid with the freckles?
Me: No, that was Dennis the Menace (not an actual person by the way)
Someone: So who was Rodney King?
Me: The LA Riots? Hello??
Someone: Hey, look there is a bunny
Someone else: That isn't a bunny, that is a squirrel.
Someone: It is not look it is hopping.
Someone Else: No it isn't hopping. It is running on it's stomach.
Someone: Are you wearing your glasses?
Someone Else: Oh, it IS a squirrel.
Someone: I told you it was a squirrel, dude.
Scooter: The number one cause of choking to death is by toothpicks
Someone: Toothpicks? Not wieners? Or saliva?
Scooter: No it is toothpicks.
Someone: Are you sure? Where did you get that?
Scooter: Off a plaque on the wall of the Pizza Factory.
Someone: So that makes it a fact? Is the Pizza Factory in California City a reliable source of information?
(Half an hour of googling choking deaths ensues)
Someone: There is a guy over there with a sword
Someone Else: What is he doing
Someone: I think they are doing fencing
Dad: Oh, does he have a (insert actual name of fencing mask but I forgot)
Everyone: Looks at Dad
Child: Grandma did you know you have a wenis
Grandma: I DO NOT!
Child: Yes you do! (Points to loose skin on elbow and giggles)
Grandma: Well, okay.
Me: My cat bit my wenis this morning
Everyone: Blank stare
I don't know why my family is the way it is.
There are a lot of nonsensical discussions
There are a lot of non-sequiturs (VOCABULARY WORD)
But we do all love each other
And best of all, we didn't sneak off and leave anyone in the park.
Which adds up to a successful family outing as far as I am concerned.
A non sequitur is any absurd comment that does not fit the context. It is Latin for "it does not follow." This is also used as a logical fallacy used in argument