Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Our Fathers Day

What conversations do you and your family have at family gatherings?
Here are some snippets of mine on Fathers Day:

Me: Did you hear that Rodney King died? 
Dad: You know, he might have been a really good basketball player but with all those tattoos and piercings--- I don't know
Me:  Dad that wasn't Rodney King, that was Dennis Rodman. 
Someone:  When did Dennis Rodman die?
Someone Else:  Dennis Rodman?  Wasn't he that kid with the freckles?
Me:  No, that was Dennis the Menace (not an actual person by the way)
Someone:  So who was Rodney King?
Me:  The LA Riots?  Hello??
Someone:  Hey, look there is a bunny
Someone else:  That isn't a bunny, that is a squirrel.
Someone:  It is not look it is hopping.
Someone Else:  No it isn't  hopping. It is running on it's stomach.
Someone:  Are you wearing your glasses?
Someone Else:  Oh, it IS a squirrel.
Someone:  I told you it was a squirrel, dude.

Scooter:  The number one cause of choking to death is by toothpicks
Someone:  Toothpicks?  Not wieners?  Or saliva?
Scooter:  No it is toothpicks.
Someone:  Are you sure?  Where did you get that?
Scooter:  Off a plaque on the wall of the Pizza Factory.
Someone:  So that makes it a fact?  Is the Pizza Factory in California City a reliable source of information?
(Half an hour of googling choking deaths ensues)

Someone:   There is a guy over there with a sword
Someone Else:  What is he doing
Someone:  I think they are doing fencing
Dad:  Oh, does he have a (insert actual name of fencing mask but I forgot)
Everyone:  Looks at Dad

Child:  Grandma did you know you have a wenis
Grandma:  I DO NOT!
Child:  Yes you do!  (Points to loose skin on elbow and giggles)
Grandma:  Well,  okay.
Me:  My cat bit my wenis this morning
Everyone:  Blank stare

I don't know why my family is the way it is.
There are a lot of nonsensical discussions
There are a lot of non-sequiturs (VOCABULARY WORD)

But we do all love each other
And best of all, we didn't sneak off and leave anyone in the park.
Which adds up to a successful family outing as far as I am concerned.

A non sequitur is any absurd comment that does not fit the context. It is Latin for "it does not follow." This is also used as a logical fallacy used in argument


JC said...

Sounds like fun to me. We took my h out and bought him a bike. After that we watched it rain. Then, went to see a movie, Avengers. Fun times over here.

ltlrags said...

Your family is hilarious, and congratulations on being more family-friendly than a Prime Minister! And non sequitur is also a pretty funny cartoon.