It must look good because a Construction Worker whistled at me this afternoon! Sure he was one of my employees and sure I make out his paychecks-- but still was pretty cool!
I know you men probably will not understand the process and the energy that goes into a kind of this event. But it is VERY IMPORTANT!
First you get the thought in your head: I hate my hair. It is boring, hot, frizzy, too long, too short, too brown, not brown enough, too curly, not curly enough, too straight, to thin, to thick, (Fill in the blank)
I want a tattoo
Maybe I will just cut all my hair off
I haven't had short hair since 1992
I wonder if how long you can leave salad dressing in the fridge before it goes rancid. Does mustard go bad? Does it grow mold?
I am going to cut my hair AND get highlights!
There: Decision made
Next step: Deciding on the style.
Something cool but not too young.
Not too old either
Something that isn't going to take a lot of work
You look at hair style websites
(This activity probably contributes to getting in trouble for viewing websites at work and infecting your computer so that your accounting software for the whole company is destroyed and makes you worry you will get fired)
You take pictures OF pictures in magazines.
You make an appt but your regular stylist is booked for weeks and you must do this RIGHT NOW. So you ask her if she can recommend someone so you won't feel like you are cheating on her and have to sneak around (Yes, really)
You wonder if you should get something corporate in case you get fired for looking at hair styles at work.
The day comes
You describe to your stylist what you want and wonder what she is thinking.
"OKay, so I want it short--- BUT NOT TOO SHORT! What is TOO SHORT? I don't want to see my scalp. But I don't want it to be all Carol Brady flippy do in the back. OH HELL NO. And I want highlights but not HUGE chunks. Like you know they aren't real but it isn't like OMG DOES SHE KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THAT LOOKS? And I want bangs. No, not BANGS bangs--- like sweepy over to the side bang-ettes. Like casually sophisticated bangs.
My ears are okay so it is okay if you can see my ears. BUT NOW I NEED EARRINGS!! (Note: To everyone who forgot to send my Atta Girl reward for getting TWO 'A's this semester please keep in mind that I like silver, not gold. This means you Kathy. How many 'A's did you get, huh? What?? I can't hear you? Under-achiever says what?
So she commences with the coloring portion of the styling event.
I spent a good half hour trying to:
A) Communicate with the home planet
B) See if I could hear the afternoon drive report on the radio through the foil on my head
C) Trying to move the potted plant in the corner with my mind figuring that possibly the aluminum foil just might enhance my telekinetic abilities
|Pile O Hair|
|Is it possible to take a picture of yourself without looking so stupid? I THINK NOT!|
|I can't tell if this is a good picture.|
I really HATE looking at myself
|MY GOSH-- The Back of My Head is AWESOME!!!|