My class reunion is getting really close so it is time to post my biography. I really need everyone's input because you all know how carefully I guard my privacy. So be sure to leave me comments. I am really put off by people who pad their bios justso their lives look better than they really are and so I have made a concerted effort to be honest and accurate (humble even) so that you will all see who I am.
Name: LeAnn Louise Rittel-Fenner-Hernandez-Obamama-Nakasuki-O'Brien-Fieri-Anderson
Marital Status: Single.... for now....
Kids: Brandon, Lauren, Epigmiento, KayUnique, Suki, Patick, Guido and Hans... so far. All of my children have at least a 4.2 GPA except for Hans who only has a 3.99. His handwriting is just a tad bit sloppy for a 1.5 year old-- don't worry we are having him tutored! I believe in cross language learning so we speak English, Spanish, Ebonics, Japanese, Scottish, Italian and Dutch... so far...
Interests & Hobbies:
Hunting for my next ex- husband, plus sized modeling, searching for a pedicurist who can make a really small white flower on my big toe when I ask for it, traveling (next stop: North Pole. I hope to find an Eskimo husband there), reading vampire romance novels because I really truly deeply believe with all my heart and soul that my last husband is a vampire that is out there somewhere looking for me because he truly deeply will love me forever and ever and ever... Watching as many Reality TV shows so that I know what to model my own life on since obviously those are REAL life, duh. Working on my newest CD "LeAnn Signs Songs Translated from Dolphin to English, Spanish, Ebonics, Japanese, Scottish, Italian, Dutch and Eskimo", writing my newest Self Help book "Who Needs People When You Can Have More Cats" as wells as my newest novel "Chupacabra Love" (non -fiction) and editing my newest cookbook "It Isn't Offal, it is Awesome. Organ Meat: It's What's For Dessert!"
Sometimes I make myself a cup of Half/Caf Americano Sugar Free Hazelnut Soy Milk Latte with just a spoonful of foam from the milk of a yak and I ponder the universe.......
And just then, hopefully, the medication kicks in......
4 comments:
I wouldn't want to add anything to that incredibly honest, modest, and selfless description of the first half of your life. Anything I would say would seem to make you larger than life, which we don't want. Please set aside a copy of the first printing of your cookbook... sounds tasty!
OMG! You missed your calling. stand up comic, yep that is you! Maybe the meds will kick in soon. Love you
You are such a creative writer, and humble too! I am sure many appreciate the wit you have, as much as I do!
Your secret admirer :)
oooooo A Secret Admirer!!!!
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