Monday, October 18, 2010

The Much Anticipated Class Reunion: The Prequel

I survived the reunion, Geeezers. And I know you are all jonesing for all the 411 but I have to back it up a bit so I can set the stage properly.
Friday October 15th, 2010.
A day that will be marked in infamy. Lauren has her official first date. Ironically, she goes to Magic Mountain which is where I went on my first date. NOT THE SAME BOY though, that would just be gross.
I mention this as part of the reunion story because, although the evening goes well, the boys who are driving and navigating introduce Lauren and her best friend Stacey to a ritual of sorts which many of us have experienced: The Dreaded Curse of the Male Navigator. You know I hate to embarrass Lauren so I will relate one of my own stories and you guys can do the math.
One time I went out with a special someone who I desparately wanted to impress. Just in case he is reading this blog lets call him.... ummmm.... Mike. So we are going to Los Angeles and he gets on the freeway going toward Mojave. I realize this immediately but what do you do? This is a no win situation for a girl. If you tell him, you hurt his ego and you may never see him again. Especially if he has also forgotten his wallet that night. If you don't tell him you could end up in Rosamond, Mojave, Bishop etc..... And he is still embarrassed and upset. (and if you are reading this you know who you are)
Anyhow... I say this because she didn't end up getting home until 4:30am (there was also car breakdown involved in a distant location) All this to explain that I was already tired by the time I got to Saturday morning. Still, I roused myself just a few hours later and went to work. Around 12:00 I sat up from where I had fallen asleep at my desk (the drool had pooled on my computer keyboard--- oopsey!) and went off to my favorite Nail Salon where they apparently know my every move because they always know exactly how long it has been since I was there last. Scary. I wanted to get a quick manicure because my scaly man hands needed a little TLC. Not the whole fake thing, just a little french tips (that is white colored stuff on the tips for you ignorant man types). And a brow wax because I can't see my own eyebrows with my glasses off and every so often someone points out to me that it looks like wooley catepillars have taken up residence on my face. Here is another insight into the feminine world: we have facial hair too. It shouldn't be there. It gets worse as we get older. We make it go away. I usually employ other methods of accomplishing this but that day my good friend Amy at the Nail Shop once again lied to me and told me that she would not hurt me if I let her wax my upper lip. She LIED AGAIN!!! Not only that but she waxed my entire face. Seriously--- I have witnesses. I don't know what she was doing and by the time she had smeared hot wax all over you can't really jump out of the chair and leave so you have to go through with it. My face throbbed with pain for hours. HOURS! At one point she put a cold towel over my face to take down the swelling and probably to muffle my screams! Course then I couldn't breathe and I couldn't pull it off with my hands because they were covered in hot wax too!!!
I was trying so hard not to say bad words. You don't even know.
It was traumatic.
Just thinking about it is making the area where my side burns used to be hurt all over again.
I think I will have to stop here.
Stop by tomorrow for the rest of the story......


Kym said...

If she was trying to muffle your screams she would have stuffed the washcloth IN your mouth!!

Anonymous said...

I know I can read your blogs, and get a good chuckle. I honestly look forward to them!!! Sometimes I really really really laugh.....DANGEROUS!