Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Things That Make Me Go: HUH???

Story Time, Geeeezers (Jeeeezers):

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl and they got married. One day, many years and two children later, the boy tells the girl that he is happy and needs to leave her so he can be gay. Opps, I mean he says that he is gay and he needs to leave her to be happy. (Hey it works both ways!)

This does not make the girl happy and her heart looks like this.

One day, when her heart was feeling better, she met the boy down the street and she fell head over heels in love with him. She chased him hard: she cleaned his house, she cooked dinner, she took the kids shopping and decorated their bedrooms, she was nice to his mother even though she didn't seem to like her.

Can you say "Co-Dependent" boys & girls? I knew you could!

He sent many mixed signals though the girl was too stupid to figure that out-- she actually thought he loved her too. She used to be a very silly silly girl. One day he told her that he wasn't at all attracted to her and that he was sure they could still be friends but he had to dump her fat butt so he could be happy. The girl wondered why everyone on the other side of this equation seems to have to leave her to be happy and what was she supposed to do to be happy. Then she decided she didn't need to be happy but she really had to stop being stupid.Her heart looked like this
Time went on and eventually her heart looked like this because it was a lot safer that way. She never let herself care about anyone again.10 years passed. This is what her heart looks like today. Actual Size

Nothing ever stirs it. It is safe. Dead, but safe. She is okay with that.
One day her son calls and says that he as found a note on her old car that she keeps at his house. It is from the boy who finally managed to finish her off romantically.

It is too light to scan but this is what it says:

LeAnn
How have you been? Happy New Year
Mark
HIS PHONE NUMBER
I am sorry for all the pain I caused you.

She thinks this is very odd and wonders why he did that. Has he finally come to his senses? Has the girl he married left him to be happy with someone else? Is some sadistic mythical cupid figure decided to poke at the dead heart to see if he can stir up a little spark of agony after all this time like some kind of opossum that got run over by a freight train and is all squishy and flat but you just have to go poke it with a stick to make sure it is really really completely totally dead?

Was she getting dangerously close to running out of blog material and the universe decided to supply her with something interesting to think about?

Whatever should she do, dear Geeezers???

Should she forget she ever saw it?

Should she call him to say hello?

Should she call the number and fart into the phone?

Should she just blog about it and let it go?

What??? I expect a response from YOU!!

3 comments:

critterlover said...

A.) I know there's no heart of stone in that lovely chest of yours. You are a thoughtful, loving, caring woman who deserves to be happy, with or without the not-so-fair sex.

B.) I vote for #3, call him and fart in the phone, or at least a long noisy wet raspberry. He had a chance and blew it. (But then again, I tend to hold a grudge.)

In my humble opinion, yep, he probably got dumped and you made him feel special, all that attention you gave him, so he's looking for that again. He's feeling low and wants a boost to his ego.

Just my gut feeling.

critterlover said...

Or... he's in AA and he has to make amends? Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Hello


Affordable health insurance quotes for family, individual and self employed.
Providing free medical insurance quotes for over 30 years using quality carriers such as Assurant Health, Medica, HealthPartners

http://www.healthinsurance-quotes.org

Best regards
sedor