Random Thought #1)
I went to register for summer semester yesterday. The computer told me I couldn't sign up for English 102: Reasoning and Critical Literary Thinking. It said I needed an assessment test. I hauled booty to the college cuz I was trying to get this class online and not go in to class all summer long, and those classes fill up uber fast.
I take the test. I got a 101% in writing and a 95% in reading.
I tell you this, not to brag about the immensity of my IQ (frankly you knew that already, didn't you?) but for the accuracy of the tale. Though I am wondering how accurate an assessment test that gives you a 101% can really be.... Anyhow....
So I take my test up to the dude who could give me pass to register and he was all like "it doesn't matter what your score is, everyone has to take Freshman Composition" and I was all up in his grill like "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I WRITE A FAMOUS BLOG, Y'AL" And he was like 'what-evah' and I was like; "Dude, I think I took that course awhile back" and he was all 'How long ago cuz it ain't appearin' on my puter" and I was like cough1980cough. And he was like 'WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST SAY?' And I was all like "dude, I got my Associates degree IN THE WOMB!! " So blah blah you need to request a transcript blah blah OMG, I have that in the car blah blah OMG you did take it in 1980!! And you got an 'A' in Fortran. Dude, WHAT IS FORTRAN???? So.... blah blah... you have your waiver blah blah you are enrolled in your course.
YEA! Go forth and Think Critically .
I went to register for summer semester yesterday. The computer told me I couldn't sign up for English 102: Reasoning and Critical Literary Thinking. It said I needed an assessment test. I hauled booty to the college cuz I was trying to get this class online and not go in to class all summer long, and those classes fill up uber fast.
I take the test. I got a 101% in writing and a 95% in reading.
I tell you this, not to brag about the immensity of my IQ (frankly you knew that already, didn't you?) but for the accuracy of the tale. Though I am wondering how accurate an assessment test that gives you a 101% can really be.... Anyhow....
So I take my test up to the dude who could give me pass to register and he was all like "it doesn't matter what your score is, everyone has to take Freshman Composition" and I was all up in his grill like "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I WRITE A FAMOUS BLOG, Y'AL" And he was like 'what-evah' and I was like; "Dude, I think I took that course awhile back" and he was all 'How long ago cuz it ain't appearin' on my puter" and I was like cough1980cough. And he was like 'WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST SAY?' And I was all like "dude, I got my Associates degree IN THE WOMB!! " So blah blah you need to request a transcript blah blah OMG, I have that in the car blah blah OMG you did take it in 1980!! And you got an 'A' in Fortran. Dude, WHAT IS FORTRAN???? So.... blah blah... you have your waiver blah blah you are enrolled in your course.
YEA! Go forth and Think Critically .
The End (of Random Thought #1)
Just in case you aren't sure if I am a grown up-- here is proof positive. In a six month period of time I got a mammogram AND a dental check up!
BAM!
Oh yeah, I did. And I didn't have any cavities either! Well, just need to refill the one I lost last summer when my sister and I saw Wicked at the Pantages (OMG Fiero was so hawt!!) and she forced me to eat a Milk Dude... I mean a Milk Dud and I was all like "Dude, are Milk duds supposed to be crunchy?"
Um.
No.
So anyhow that cavity doesn't count. And just for the record my daughter, my sister and her daughter ALL HAD CHECKUPS this month and we are ALL cavity free....
BA BAM!
Um.
No.
So anyhow that cavity doesn't count. And just for the record my daughter, my sister and her daughter ALL HAD CHECKUPS this month and we are ALL cavity free....
BA BAM!
And I suppose I could give some credit to Crest Toothpaste. Crest and I have partnered in Dental Care and Hygiene lo these many years.
But recently, our relationship has been strained.
Crest..... it's just not working out any more. I wish I could say it wasn't you-- that it is me. But it IS YOU! You have turned on me. Where? Where has your smooth mintiness gone? Why wasn't it good enough? Why wasn't I GOOD ENOUGH for you???? No, now you have gone all sparkly and junk. But the worst of it--- the part I just cannot accept is that damnable gritty crapola. I want to feel fresh and joyful and gleeming-like. Not like I just did a face plant on my surfboard and came up with a mouthful of beach!
Seriously, Crest. I just think it is time for us to part ways.
I hope we can still be friends.
4 comments:
You are so funny !!!
Like, 1980 was a good year for Freshman Composition. Do they even really teach it properly any more?
Had me laughing and crying. Thanks! You are the coolest person I've ever met!
DUDE, I programmed in FORTRAN.
You are one funny chica!
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