At this point I am pretty much done with the child raising thing. My son is 24 (and so is my DIL) and my daughter is 17.
Even by 17, you are done training them. By that age you have shifted into the ‘influential’ stage. The foundation is set…or the lack of a foundation is set… but whatever you did is about all you get to do. (I am going to include my DIL in this scenario because she has been one of my kids for a really long time now, even though I did scare her to death the first… oh let’s say.... 5 years she knew me, lol. Seriously. Poor girl. I mean think about having me for your boyfriend’s mom. Yeah, scary stuff)
Anyhow……….. All of my kids have a good biblical foundation. And they have multiple sets of parents with different value sets and parenting styles. They have a lot to contend with. So the first part of their lives I spent exposing them to the values that I would like them to adopt.
Those were the ways I thought they should go. And now I am along in that stage where I am trying to help them in the way THEY think they should go.
Individually. Differently. Uniquely.
Cuz I don’t have cookie cutter kids, ya’ll.
They are all as different as night and day. In my 'not-so-humble-opinion'
I believe my son values respect more than anything. He yearns to be respected and his views carefully considered.
My DIL seeks to be cherished and supported. She doesn’t quite have the entire universe figured out yet (unlike her husband who is the most like me God help her) but she is figuring it out.
My daughter needs to be seen and accepted for who she is…. in whatever which way that presents itself at any given time. And she is gonna put it all up in my grill so she can see the reaction. Every. Single. Day.
So my plan, at this stage in my mom-life, is to push my agenda whenever possible but at the same time work very hard to honor the heart desires of my kids. I don’t always understand what is important to them but I try very hard to accept and respect their dreams.
Ephesians 6:4 says ‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ I have been known to exasperate my kids at time because I didn’t trust that the way THEY need to go might be different than the way I want them to go…..
And their plan might even be.... gulp... okay after all......
It is a hard thing for me, but I am trying to learn.
Hence the nose……….
2 comments:
I can totally relate. And you're right on with the idea that we have to let them go be whoever they're going to be, even if it's not what we predicted or hoped for. That's a tough lesson for some of us! Kudos to you for catching on so early!
Another great blog ... from what I've heard about your two kids, you've done a marvelous job of getting them ready for life after Mom. Now, just sit back and watch.
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