Once upon a time there was a Lovely Princess.
She had a dream. She had a dream to hit it rich via lottery or other instant cash giveaway contest.
One day she got a call from a Fairy GodMother who told her that she had won a magnificent prize! Ooooooo What was it? It could be her dream car. It could be $100,000.00 It could be a home entertainment center. It could be LOTS of amazing things….
And all she had to do was come claim her prize and listen to a quick 90 minute presentation.
Sadly, this call came soon after the Princess’ alien brain chip malfunction (EBF) and loss of driver’s license and so the Lovely Princess had to beseech her Much Older Cynical Sister to chauffer her to the magic kingdom of Encino……..
Though she fought it valiantly in her younger years, the Older Sister has been overcome with a spirit of pragmatism which compels her to kill dreams and utter tomes of wisdom such as “No matter what they say or how cool it looks you are not going to buy a time share in Cabo San Lucas” No, the Older Sister is No Fun sometimes.
And so the day arrived for the trek and they set off at dawn armed with large diet cokes and egg mcmuffins to fortify them against come what may… and arrived in the magicalMidway through the meanderings, a supernatural message from the great beyond was received telling them that the newest Hamster of the Realm had gone missing and that the Youngest Princess’ bed chamber smelled of hamster death. Hamster death? Hast thou not smelled hamster LIFE? And is there a difference? What to do???
“Come Home! Come Home NOW!!” said the Littlest Princess.
But since we had not yet heard the Prophecy of the Non-Time Share Time Share, promises were made to launch a search the likes of which the Home of Princesses had never known just as soon as possible.
After purchasing some cute little ramekins for the Littlest Princess to use for dip dishes, the Princess caught the eye of the Older Sister with some bizarre facial moves (momentarily making her wonder about that brain chip flaring up again) and directed her attention to a young woman who was purchasing an early morning breakfast of grapefruit gelato and a bagel who has apparently
FORGOTTEN TO PUT ON HER DAINTY UNDERGARMENTS
AND HER PANTS!
My Word!!! Instead she is wearing what can hardly be described as a skirt (because aren’t skirts at least 4” long?) and her very bare buttcheeks were hanging out for all the world to see.
Pardon me for being indelicate, Geeezers, but there are no delicate words to be used here. Honestly
And though we tried, it was not possible to get a good picture. Since we were done shopping and trying to take clandestine cell phone pictures we decided to imbibe in a hot beverage and sit in the atrium. As luck would have it, Little Miss Buttcheeks had taken her repast out into the same seating area.
Still we tried to get a picture (even when we drove away we circled around once and tried again) but were instead only treated to watching her talk to herself (no cell phone) eat and occasionally bop her head like she was listening to music (no ipod either) (Trust me, we looked).
Eventually it was time to leave, to our regret since we never were able to catch her on film.
The Older Sister, who possesses the Enchanted License of Motorability drove Lola the Faithful Chariot into the bowels of the
This is the end of Part One. Please deposit another $20.00 into the machine. Thank you!
1 comment:
The only word I couldn't understand is "porn." Couldst thou explain? By the way, those characters in your story had the world's best breakfast: large diet coke and egg mcmuffin. That's awesome! I had the same thing this morning, except I substitute a #3 - bacon egg cheese biscuit.
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