How Do I Do It????

Recently several of you have asked me: How do you come up with the stuff you blog about? Where do you find inspiration? How do you turn an ordinary picture into something fascinating? Were there dinosaurs on Noah's Ark? (Wait, that one is mine...)

So come along with me on my journey. I will give you a peek into my world......

It is Tuesday night. Tuesday I have my MacroEconomics class from 7:00pm to 10:00pm at my local community college. I know that I have been telling everyone that I am finishing up my general ed so I can transfer and finish my degree, but the truth is I go there to spy on people and find blog material. And it is a treasure trove let me tell you!
College at my ripe old age sometimes makes me feel as if 'I am a Stranger in a Strange Land' and I sometimes have difficulty grokking. (If you don't 'get' that-- shame on you!) (I know Cat will get that one-- who else is sufficiently geeky?)

One of my current courses is Statistics. Therefore, I will use my new found statistical skills to break down my class demographics:

• 78% Students who are younger than some of my underwear
• 14% Students who are children of people I went to high school with
• 8% Students who are either perimenopausal/mid-life crisising, just want the student discount at the movie theater or are faking it to acquire blog materials.

In case you are not as well educated as I, and frankly if you didn't understand my Heinlein reference I suspect you are not, this analysis is an example of an Observational study.

Then, as I stride across campus I take a sampling of the students in a 20' radius and concur that:

• 36% Geeks and/or Dorks who are focused on their studies (most likely to the exclusion of any social life. For the purposes of this study I am excluding online video games as social interaction),
• 27% Stoners who are either actively partaking of the Herb RIGHT OUT IN PUBLIC or clearly took a toke or 5 before they got there,
• 9% Old Farts who cannot remember where they parked their car
• 28% Have no idea why they are there except their parents said they have to go to school or get a job.

This, is an inferential statistic implying that I can make a conclusion for the entire student population based on a sampling of typical students standing around. Are you with me so far?

Last week the Econ professor polled the class to find out why people were taking the course. So as to keep my cover story, I said that I am pursuing my Business Degree. There was this group of kids in the back that look about 15 and act about 12--- they all giggled and said that they all registered to take the class together because it looked 'fun'. Fun? Seriously-- were they expecting Betty Crocker to show up and teach them how to cook brownies? This is Economics, Tiffany... not Home Economics like they show on Leave it To Beaver! This week half of them were gone already. Of the remaining few I noticed what had to be a mid-class booty call. This involved Boy Texting Girl. Girl giggling at Boy. Boy getting up to leave class. Girl getting up 3 minutes later. 10 minutes elapse. Boy returns. Girl returns. Now THAT is a break. All I got was a bottled water.

Now, back to the parking problem. I think that the school should use a parking system like Disneyland. You know like Goofy-6 and Mickey-36. It would make everything so much easier- cuz you know those potheads gotta get lost too. I think there should be Einstein-4 and Socrates-11 etc.....

Clearly I have to 'dumb down' my vocabulary and obvious command of classic American literature so as not to scare off my 'prey' or the students that I study. (Or as my niece recently told me "Aunt LeAnn, we don't use big words"). In order to fit in I make sure I wear lots of black eye liner and have pierced my eyebrows in several locations. I also text people constantly during class and listen to my ipod when I am walking across campus. I had a brief moment of ambivalence about my rolling backpack. It is not really cool to use a rolling backpack, but since I am an old fart, carrying around my 17 lb math book makes my neck hurt. Should I suck up the pain and carry a backpack or a messenger bag like the other kids or go with the rolling pack that will allow me to minimize the pain... What to do?? Finally I went with the Hot Pink Camouflage rolling backpack. Oh Yes, I DID!

What? You think I should have posted a picture of my backpack on my blog? Do you think I am your Blog Monkey or something?
Well, yeah I am.... but YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME!
Okay, maybe you are.

I mean, I am needy and seek constant validation. So maybe you are.

Course, if you really loved me you would leave comments. Just sayin.....