Sunday, January 15, 2012

I am going to turn 50 years old this year.
(Let me pause for a moment while you pick yourselves up off the floor)
I don't know how I feel about that.
That is to say I know how I feel about a great many things but there is no consensus of opinion.
I don't feel that old though I know I look that old and certainly my body feels that old
But my mind is angry at being that age
Because, in many ways, I am just now getting to the point of appreciating my mind and I am angry that I wasted so much time!
I am learning so much about myself that would have been so handy to know years ago.
Like what it means to be The Grown Up One
Lately I feel like I have assumed the mantle of The Grown Up One
I know it has been coming for awhile as my dad has aged.  Not to say that he isn't still capable of most everything but that the invisible burden that has to be carried by someone is settling less and less on his shoulders and more on mine. 
I wonder if it isn't an intuitive part of human nature that this falls most naturally to the oldest child.  A chicken and egg thing--- oldest child syndrome.  Do we tend to be the responsible, pragmatic control freaks because we arrived first or did we somehow push to the first in line because we already possessed those qualities.
Or is it thusly that God in His infinitive wisdom (metaphorically) sits in His pre-utero laboratory amidst rows upon rows of brightly colored dna and picks and chooses who will receive what and in which quantities and then sits back to see how it all plays out.  I think this must be so because I am so different from my sister.... The Grown Up One In Waiting.  This position is slightly under that of the Grown Up One but not in the same direct lineage as the Grown Up One To Be (of the next generation).  The Waiting One is slightly askew.   In our case she is the one possessed of All Medical Knowledge and Aptitude.  And I got absolutely none.  She can go inside a doctor's office or hospital without feeling faint.  She can see a needle and not feel the room spinning.  She can say all those really hard words like Ekocardiographic-x-p-alidoious.  And she even explained to me once that a CAT scan does not require the use of felines.  Who Knew?
I say that this seems to fall naturally because I do see the exceptions all around me.  Namely my mother who is neither pragmatic nor controlling (except for the occasional dust particle) but we do have to make allowances for the emotionally weak (ie: The Whack-a-doodle Syndrome).
I am not really liking my new role as it has truly and suddenly thrust me into the role of Person In Charge Of Where Grandma Is Going To Live Out Her Remaining Days
I keep looking around (figuratively of course since looking around literally would result in bored looks from various felines) to see who is the one that seems to think I am old enough for this responsibility.  Isn't there always someone older?  Wiser?  More experienced?  More capable? Has it really and truly come down to ME?  Do we never see that eventually we must become that person from attrition if for no other reason?  It is because I am so truly at odds between the person I appear to be on the outside and the person I truly am inside my own head?  Not to say that I am farcical or hypocritical.  Not on purpose anyhow and do these things not require intent by definition?  No it is more the defensive posturing I project that makes me seem to be more grown up than I feel inside.
Or maybe none of us are The Grown Up Ones
Maybe we are all playing dress up!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Buckle Up!

So let me you up to speed on what has been going on in my life.
I quit writing my other blog because it became evident that spewing vitriol (See NOTE) on the Internet could come back to haunt me.  So it isn't as if I am really any less Dark so much as I realized I better hide it better.  I have been fighting a Bad Attitude Problem lately in case you have been lucky enough to
avoid it.  Cuz work sucks and I miss the only other girl in the company who left to have a baby (she IS a beautiful baby tho) and now I am forced to leave my estrogen locked up in the car every day while I deal with overwhelming testosterone and
try not to kill anyone.  And if that sounds soul sucking then you have a tiny hint of how miserable I am lately at work.
The home repairs to my rental property are almost done and thanks to my handy dandy tenant have only cost me most of what I saved up for vacation for the last
3 yrs.  But for him any chance would be gone.  I am in preliminary stages of planning trip to Virginia in april (you hear that my VA girls and boys?).
There are other things too but the biggest and most heart breaking issue has been my grandma.  She is 97 and
has clearly reached the point that she cannot live alone even with support and for reasons too long and complicated to explain here she cannot live with us or my parents and I have taken on the responsibility to get her settled as safely and happily as possible.  This has turned out to be a very frustrating situation and I floundered around for 2 weeks filling out the wrong paperwork, talking to the wrong people racking up hours of time on the Internet trying to find a clue
and finally finding my first bit of footing by emailing literally everyone I knew asking foe help and by the true grace of God discovered an angel who is helping me get a handle on it all.  So today I spent the day going to all the 36 board and care homes in my area of town to see which would be the recipient of further pursuit.  I cataloged them and photographed them noting the surrounding neighborhoods, proximity to fire stations and hospitals as well as which were closest to where I live.  Each was given a number of course so I can cross reference.  And yes, I am completely aware that hyper-organization is my way of coping with a out of control situation.  This took 7 hrs and was interrupted only by several food runs and my yoga class. 
Ah yoga how I missed thee due to various circumstances!  This class was the fullest I have ever seen! And how lucky I was to get my favorite spot in the back and further rewarded by having Moaning Guy spread his mat right next to my own.  Ah Moaning Guy!  How then can I relate Moaning Guy's yoga routine and yet remain the oh-so-very-proper lady that we all know me to be?  MG is very fit.  He can really do the yoga that I can only aspire to achieve some day after having lost another 150 lbs.  and having all my joints replaced. But his vocalizations.... It is like someone is filming a porno 5' feet away.  It is enough to distract me from my meditative state.  To wretch away my zen and make me almost remember what having sex was like all those many many (manymanymany) years ago.  He is blissfully unaware of the peril he is placing himself in.  Namaste THAT Moaning Guy!   Nama-nasty! 

Lucky for him I have many many many many (manymanymanymany) years and days and hours and minutes and seconds of carefully suppressed sexuality buried in a grave where it belongs......
I do declare..... (fanning self)
Anyhow....... tomorrow I will start visiting said establishments and interviewing staff.
I will take all prayers, wishes, good thoughts, pixie dust or anything else you got to help me do right by my grandma.
Nite Nite Ya'll

vit·ri·ol

[vi-tree-uhl] Show IPA noun, verb, -oled, -ol·ing or ( especially British ) -olled, -ol·ling.
noun
1.
Chemistry . any of certain metallic sulfates of glassy appearance, as copper sulfate or blue vitriol, iron sulfate or green vitriol, zinc sulfate or white vitriol, etc.
2.
oil of vitriol; sulfuric acid.
3.
something highly caustic or severe in effect, as criticism



breathe heavy!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Introducing A New Friend!

INTRODUCING..................



Crystal Anahi
She was born on Friday December 30th to my co-worker Claudia
She is perfectly adorable

I am her AbuelaBlanca
Her White Grandma
Because Crystal's hispanic family Es Muy Loco  (crazy) and she wasn't even going to get a blankie and that is just wrong.
Also, they always put on this hard, bad ass gangster look on their faces when they get pictures done and that is also just wrong.  I am going to teach Crystal how to smile in pictures.
I am going to teach her how to translate for me because her mom lets me stand there like a dork when everyone is speaking spanish.

I am going to enjoy this little girl even though she took away my best friend at work and has left me the only girl in the whole entire company and now work is really boring and every day drags out like it will never end.
Never    Ever   End

So, Welcome to the La Vida Loca Crystal
(Be sure to get my cell number)

Congratulations to her Mom & Dad
and all her sisters and brother!!!