LeAnn Gets Lucky!!

Geeezers! I got Lucky on Wednesday night!

I did!

I know you are thinking "Thank goodness, maybe she will loosen up a little bit now. Maybe that tension headache she has had for the past 13 years will go away!"

BUT NO! Not THAT kind of lucky!!

(Setting the scene....)

In my jammies. Hair wet from my shower. Ready to bid the day adieu when my cell phone rings.

It is Lauren.

She and my niece Ashlie had been to the movies and were on their way home when something small and fast dashed in front of their car, risking life and limb to cross the busy intersection.

What was it? A rabid raccoon? A snipe? Low flying alien space craft?

WHAT WAS IT????

They carefully park the car and run to where they last saw the creature and corner it in a bush. Not a soft fluffy bush--- oh no! A dense dark stickery bush.

Not being fully prepared to deal with all the eccentricities of life in the grown up world they do what makes most sense. Call Moms.

SO Moms spring into action, grabbed an animal carrier, flashlights and a can of cat food and race to the scene.

In their jammies.

With wet, but strangely sexy, hair.

We peer into the bush and can see nothing. Bending close to the center and shaking it a bit we hear the faintest, tentative squeaky sound that could only be a baby kitten.

Or a rabid bat.

But we were really hoping it was a kitten.

NOT THAT I WAS IN THE MARKET FOR ANOTHER CAT!!!!!!!!

Since we are brave and strong women we plunge our hands into the brush and grab onto something that is squirming and squeaking and writhing around.

I hold up my prize: It is, indeed, a baby kitten.

Monica holds up her prize: a giant rat. (not really)

We wrap the kitten in a towel and head for home. The girls are pleading for us to keep it.

It is just a baby, they say.
Look how scared it is, they say.

We rescued it from certain death, they say.

Pshaw, say I. Animals do not belong in the house. Cats carry vermin and try to steal your breath away in the night! They are loud and messy and they can give you rabies and then you will turn into a zombie and try to eat everyone's brain.

Oh, yeah... I saw "I Am Legend"

Anyhow...... we take this tiny bundle of bones and stickers home and feed it--- it looks and acts like it hasn't eaten in days. It is so pathetic.

And yet... so admirable.

Just a little bit and somehow was surviving on it's own. You have to respect that.

You have to reward that, right????

We left in in the bathroon (toilet lid down) thinking it would be safe only to come back an hour later and discover he was gone.

WHERE did he GO???? We scoured the house: Flashlights seeking out corners under the beds. shaking out bed clothes. Searching through closets and cupboards again and again for hours. WHERE WAS HE????

Exhausted we finally gave up, hoping he had not survived the wilds of Cinemark 12 only to meet his doom in The House of Wayward Kittens.
The next morning I am sitting on the throne reading my morning spiritual devotion when I notice one of the cats sniffing under the bathroom vanity cupboard. I peek under. Wonder of wonders... there is a very small opening. I shoot a quick prayer "Lord please don't let this lead to endless corridors in the walls of our house,,," and go get Monica to help. We take the base boards off and she reaches inside--- and grabs the little booger!

He should be named Houdini.....

But we think he will be called Lucky.

It suits him.

After we had him checked (probably 7 weeks old and just skinny but otherwise fine) we gave him his first bath in the house.

We don't think he was feeling too Lucky right then. But he is fluffy and soft now and there are no stickers in his fur.

Yep, I got Lucky alright....

Weird Sunday Afternoon

Last Sunday had to be a full moon--- in the middle of the day!!

I went in to work early, as I do every day of my life. Every. Day. But decided to reward myself with a pedicure if I could keep working until my 8 hours were in even if it made me want to pull out every single hair on my head.

I have had many pedicures. I discovered this little dab of luxury in my 40s and usually go in every 3 weeks or so in the summer time. This was a weird one. First-- we got there toward closing time so no other customers were there. It was extra quiet. They even turned off the TV set! Then I managed to bump the iced coffee I had brought and flung it all over the floor. That was terrific. Especially in the quiet. A lady came over to wax my brows (because I am too blind to see my own eyebrows anymore and they looked like catapillers had crawled up there) and she is singing to me in Vietamese while she holds a dang napkin over my mouth and nose apparently forgetting there is an air breathing human underneath the stick full of burning hot wax she is applying to my forehead. She spills a bit on the brow but no problem-- she combs it out, ouch. That will teach me for spilling my coffee! Meanwhile, down on my toe area we have another tech rubbing and massaging and clipping my skin off my toes and feet. I ask for a french tip. For those of you who are pedicure-challenged this is when just the tips are white. It is supposed to give the illusion that you are so well groomed that your toe nails are soooo clean that they actually appear to be white. Somewhere along the line she thinks it will be cool to paint this thin silver line across the white tip and put on a coat of glitter. I do not notice this because there is still a napkin and a hand over my mouth and nose. Toe lady asks if I want a flower painted on my big toe nail. I am ambivelnt about toe flowers. Some times I think they look ridiculous and sometimes, when I am in a playful mood, I think Why The Heck Not!! Sunday I decided to go for it. I told her Please give me a very small white flower.

Does this look like a very small white flower to you? It is like a toe mural. It fairly screams HEY I PAID SOMEONE TO PAINT MY TOENAILS!!

(Incidently-- these are my actually toes. Yes, I actually took a picture of my own toes. They are not stunt toes)

So I go run by my 'rents house where my sister tells me that our house smells like a fish tank. My dad says that maybe our swamp cooler has algae.

ALGAE?

Seriously?

Geeezers, that puppy had green moldly stuff growing in it.
Who Knew that was even possible?
We cleaned it all up and now our house smells.

I mean it smells nice.

You know what I mean!!

Goodnight all!

Title Fight

Come one and come all to tonight's multiple round match up between Thomas "The Tiger" O'Malley and Mush "The Kitten" Fenner.




Mush gets the drop on Malley right off the bat by sneaking up behind him during a nap (his 568th nap of the day-- his favorite) and LEAPS up on him pinning him to the living room rug!
Oooo that had to hurt!!


The Tiger shakes off the Kitten and they become a whirling dervish of fur and claws! Of tails and teeth!!
It is a battle like no other....
A fight to the death........ well, at least to another nap!!
#569th!! Their favorite!!

Finite Math

Geeezers:
Brace yourselves for a description of the online math class I will be taking this fall.
Don't be jealous--- there is still room in the class if you want to register.

This is gonna be a fun ride, eh??

Finite Mathematics
MATH C130
CATALOG COURSE DESCRIPTION
Finite Mathematics is designed for students majoring in Business/Economics, Computer Information Systems, and Social Sciences. Topics to be covered include: matrices, linear programming, mathematics of finance, sets and probability, descriptive statistics, Markov chains, and game theory.
COURSE OBJECTIVES
Upon completion of this course, students will have the following skills:
Develop mathematical models and employ linear curve fitting techniques.
Perform fundamental matrix operations and apply them to solving linear systems of equations.
Use both geometric and simplex methods of linear programming to solve optimization problems with two or more variables.
Understand and calculate interest, annuities, and amortization.
Employ Venn diagrams to sort out information and help combine sets algebraically.
Understand the compute basic probability.
Summarize and analyze data sets and apply statistical models to them.
Combine probability and matrices to analyze stochastic processes using a Markov Chains.
Combine probability, matrices, and linear programming with a theory of games model to determine optimal strategies for a "two-person" competitive situation under uncertain conditions.
For a maddening exercise in continuity try finding the largest real (i.e., decimal) number less than one. No, it is not 0.999999 . . . (the nines repeating forever), because it can be demonstrated that 0.999999 . . . is equal to 1. Whatever this number is it is impossible to represent it in any other than the most abstract way.
Continuity is in some ways associated with infinity and infinitesimal. Since calculus is concerned with continuous numbers and continuous functions, the subject must confront the ideas of ginfinity and infinitesimal. Finite Math is a subject that avoids the issues of continuity encountered in calculus, so those topics are lumped into the category of "finite mathematics."

Monica's Birthday: The Finale

When the magic dinner hour approached we headed over to the Melting Pot. We were there for over 2.5 hours! We had a great waiter named Chris who was very entertaining.

The Melting Pot is a fondue restaurant. There is a ceramic hot 'plate' in the middle of the table and that is where they make the fondue and where you get to dip all the yummy things in with the cool forks. We were very proud of ourselves for not poking our eyes out with those forks! We had a yummy spinch artichoke swiss cheese fondue to start out. Then we had some asian lettace wraps for our salad course. It was SO HARD to keep those lettace wraps on those fondue forks! For our entree we had all kinds of meat, shrimp and ahi tuna as well as veggies to cook in the pot of boiling broth. For dessert we had a flaming Smores chocolate fondue. They put a little candle on Monica's cheesecake dipper and sang her Happy Birthday.

And for her birthday gift to herself:

Monica's 45th Birthday: Part 2

We I left you last we had gotten back on the freeway.....

We noticed some movie theaters nearby and so we decided we would catch the new Cameron Diaz / Tom Cruise movie. It was okay. Just a teeeny bit unrealistic (insert sarcastic tone here) but they had air conditioning in the theater so that was awesome.

Couple of hours later we took a short trip to Pasadena where I navigated my way through the one way and two way streets as well as the very exciting, and rarely seen, diagonal cross walks.

We parked the car, carefully being sure to secure the vehicle and note where the parking spot was, and started shopping.

We hit Crate and Barrel first where we found many amazing things like Strawberry corers and tiny little cast iron frying pans and cute little egg rings and parmesan corn sprinkles. In the furniture section we saw many interesting decorative items that we would have purchased on the spot if A) We way too much money and no where to spend it. B) We had no taste whatsoever C) We wanted to play a joke on our friends and family and wanted to see what people would say. I would have taken pictures of that if it didn't seem a tad tacky.



We continued down the road to the Smelly Lotion Store were we had a genuine celebrity sighting: Ross who is on the Jay Leno show and other things. So that was kinda cool. He was really nice. If you aren't hip enough to know who that is, click here. And shame on you for being ignorant of pop culture. I did have a short conversation with the salesgirls who thought it was Perez Hilton. As if. Anyhow, I put them straight. Shame on them too.


We saw many interesting street people including a man who was walking his dog and had his cat draped across his shoulders. The cat was just chilling out and not on a leash or anything. I wanted to take a picture but I couldn't get to my camera on time. Later we saw him sitting on the sidewalk, cat curled up next to him taking a nap. He was an interesting character. He had this interesting 'piercing' of one of his ears that allowed the ear to pretty much fold up his ear up and over itself. I talked to him a bit and yes, I did put a couple of dollars in his hat. I was impressed.



Then we went to Sur la Table (a french kitchen supply store) and found some more cool stuff to buy. I found some oven safe bowls to service my incredible french onion soup with crunchy bread and swiss cheese in. (I am soooo going to make that tomorrow night for Girls Night In) Monica found an ice crusher just like the one we had growing up. There are going to be some rowdy crushed ice parties in our future!! Woo Hoo!!

Monica's Birthday: Part 1

Geeezers~I know you have all been waiting by your computers for the Full Report of Monica's 45th Birthday Adventure. You are about to be rewarded.

Brace yourselves... you know how wild and crazy we are.

Friday afternoon I decided I was going to do something that I haven't done in so long I couldn't even remember.... I decided to take the WHOLE DAY OFF WORK. OMG I didn't even set my alarm clock because I always wake up before 6:00

At 7:45 my sister came and poked at me because she thought maybe I had died in my sleep. I hadn't. Sleeping in... who knew...

Anyhow... we got on the road and decided to stop at IHOP for pancakes in Santa Clarita. The waitress noticed her "IT IS MY BIRTHDAY: TELL ME HOW AWESOME I AM" button on her blouse and so she got a free chocolate sundae and the IHOP Happy birthday song.

Then we continued on to The Southern California Fish and Lizard Farm or, as it is more commonly known, Descanso Gardens. The description of the weather on the news (cool and overcast) and the current blooming plants on their website (several different variates) were woefully inaccurate. It was HOT AND HUMID! (My hair turned into a mobile fuzz ball and I sweated through my clothes) and there wasn't much of anything at all blooming except for squash plants.

There were, however, millions of huge, maneating KOI trying to jump out of the water and kill me. And there were lots of lizards scampering here and there and performing their daily pushup workouts. I took a video of this but can't figure out how to post it. We looked this up online and these pushups are actually a form of sexual attraction and defending of territory. I could hardly blame them--- if I were a lizard I would think I were pretty hot too. And not just because I was sweating so badly. We made a stop at the gift store where I very graciously offered to purchase a birthday gift for my sister of some geese that were apparently carved out of poop. Unbelievably, she didn't have any yet. I know, right? When we were done traipsing around we waved goodbye to the lizards and the Piranhas and got back on the freeway.

Happy Birthday Monica

Today is my sister Monica's birthday!


(insert confetti here)


Supposedly she is turning 45 but I don't buy it!! I am supposedly older than she is and I am only 30 so.... do the math...

I will never forget the first time I saw her emerging from an egg like a giant alien chicken. We tried to raise her like one of our own and I thought we had done a pretty decent job considering how odd she is until her alien brain chip started malfunctioning. If you missed the blog about her first alien brain chip malfunction CLICK HERE and HERE ALSO

Seriously I just re-read those posts and I actually did LMAO.

Even though she is an alien, I just love that girl. She is my best friend and I am not saying that just because she knows where I live. Though I would be lying to say that I don't keep my bedroom door locked for those nights when I have blogged about her.

Today I am taking the very rare day off work and we are going on an adventure! Rest assured I will be blogging about it later, but for now-- please do leave a Happy Birthday Comment for her. Just click on Post a Comment and say something sweet.
Even if you don't know her.
DO IT ANYHOW!!!

Grateful Thanks

Oh My~
Thank you soooo much to all of my wonderful friends for the sweet thoughts and condolences over the loss of my pretty Jasmine!
She would LOVE to know that she is getting all this attention!
Hugs to you all!

LeAnn

Jasmine

Many of you know that one of the Fenner Furgang has been lost to us. My beautiful Lilac Point Siamese was apparently hit by a car and placed across the street from our house after we had put up Lost Kitty posters. I know this because we put the posters up and the next morning there she was--- and had clearly been gone for awhile already. On some level I am grateful to at least know.

Enough of that because I come to memorialize her, not dwell on ugly memories of her. She was Jasmine. My Jazzy. Jazzy Spazzy Jaz was a unique feline. Beautiful gray and beige fur-- soft soft soft. She had the most striking blue eyes. This picture doesn't do her justice, but it is the last one I have of her just the other day.

The first time I saw Jaz was at the shelter. This was also when I met Kathy Schroeder which is in itself a memorable event since we went on to become good friends (okay, Pastor Chris is giving us a tithe discount just to keep an eye on her). She had spoken to my mom who said I was on the lookout for a kitten and so gave me first shot at a new litter brought in to the shelter. I decided to pick the most beautiful kitten of all and that was my Jazzy. She had a very loud meow. VERY LOUD and she made her presence known at every opportunity. She was the Alpha Animal in our home though she was the smallest of the grown up cats. I don't know if she every even saw the baby kittens. She was the boss. She even bossed the dog-- though the dog outweighed her by probably 60 lbs.

She and the dog had a very special friendship. They would always greet each other with a headbonk or a nose to nose sniff. Once, when the dog ran away, I found him trotting down the road with Jaz along side him. I think she was leading him home and nagging at him the whole way. When she was a young kitty she ate part of a rubber ball. It cost me well over $1,000 to have it surgically removed. The doc showed it to me. I always wondered why she ate it! Before her stitches were even out I caught her eating an enourmous rubber band. Weird kitty.

Jaz was an indoor/outdoor kitty. But mostly outdoors. She liked to climb trees and trot along the fence tops. She often was found up on the roof of our old house or in the rafters. One time I didn't see her around and for a couple hours and happened to look for something in the truck of my car-- there she was! She was quick to sneak into non-cat areas of the house and so we had hoped that she had gotten trapped somewhere she didn't belong, until yesterday morning when it was clear that she had certainly been where she didn't belong and had paid the price for it.

I am going to miss her. I will miss the bright curious look in her pretty blue eyes. I will miss headbonks and giving her scritches and rubbing her ears. I will even miss all the times she woke me up in the middle of the night to groom me with her sandpaper tongue. I guess she didn't think I had done a good job washing my own face.

She even shared her tomatoe soup with me sometimes!!

Goodbye Sweet Jasmine.

I Am A Wild Thang

I am in a dare-devily mood.
I am sitting here eating Chester's Puffcorn...

(insert dramatic pause and music here)

and I am wearing all white!!!!

Life just doesn't get a whole lot riskier than that for me.

I know you must be thinking to yourself "WHY?? Why does she take unnecessary risks like this? Is she thinking of her family and the havoc her actions could cause? Does she think about the impact on global warming? Does she have some sort of sick STAIN-WISH?"
Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy?????????

Have you had Puffcorn? OMG I love this stuff!! It is a Cheetos product but it is different. It is baked and it looks like packing popcorn with a nice dusting of cheese powder. It has this most wonderful texture. You can munch it or you can let it melt in your mouth. OR you can let it melt partway in your mouth and then succumb to temptation and munch it the rest of the way.
I should know better. I am usually the first to spill something on myself at any social occasion. Okay, only if my sister isn't there. If we are both there it could go either way--- but rest assured it will be one of us. When we come home from movies there is always a child size bag of popcorn in our bras.
I suspect that it is a genetic disorder passed along to female members of the family. I believe it is genetic and not merely nurture because so far Lauren doesn't tend to have the same disorder. Which is saying something because she has the equipment to catch a lot of popcorn, if you get my drift.
You will all be happy to know that I got my new camera cable in the mail today so I can start downloading pictures again. From my new camera. Which I couldn't download off because some one's kitten (coughMushorLaylacough) chewed through my cable cord. Like 3 days after I bought it.
But I don't need it tonight because there is no cheese dust on my white capris. Even I am amazed.

Oh ye of little faith.........

Snowy Goes Girly

Yeah! We are both getting our hair done. At "Sweet 1017". "What's that?" I ask. "The address. I thought it should be called Suite: 1017 as in the famous song but, Carolyn and the other owners decided against my suggestion. You know, like, "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes?" I nod, but I really have no clue what Lucy is talking about.



Nor do I have any idea what a hairdresser is. Oops. No longer a "hairdresser", I am learning to be PC, they are now called "stylists". I am washed, rinsed, my little head is massaged and a "clippy" is placed on my head while I "air dry". I am asked if I know I am losing some hair. Well yes, I am middle aged after all.


It really is an active place, so much to look at. I like the TiGi product, so I decide to pose with the display. But, what is blah, blah, blah, blah?

This has all been a wonderful adventure but I am starting to think that it may be time for a visit home. I hear that there are some new kittens in the house I have never even met. Plus I am hoping that Peter is still waiting for me........

Snowy Gets A Lesson in Politics & Makes Friends

We enter the Richard Nixon library. And are greeted with hostility. "No pets allowed!" A discussion ensures as to whether I am really considered a pet or companion. The stern woman behind the desk is not amused. "No pets, no pictures, no further discussion." So I am posed outside of the library. And I sit in the sun next to an enormous water fountain with flags.

Lucy wants me to go on a bus tour. The bus driver looks at his clipboard. "No stuffed middle aged kittens allowed on the bus!" he declares. So I am left behind. What to do? Just pose, I suppose.
"Another day, another dollar." All these key learnings!We're off to "Norwalk". This time, Lucy lets me drive a block or so. What fun! "What's in Norwalk?" I ask. "Social Security". "What's that?" "You'll learn in a few more year..." What's that supposed to mean? All these conversations in a code unknown to a stuffed middle aged kitten.

We're off, again. Boy, this is exhausting. But Lucy has provided me with company. Her Idol, apparently. His name is Jiminy and he says he's been in show business 'forever'. He constantly does two things: sings a song about star wishing and asks if I know Pinnochio. He also constantly tries to sit on my nose. "Respect my body space!" I tell him. We settle in the front seat as Lucy is constantly in and out, in and out. We are forever searching for addresses as Lucy visits Optometrists.
At one point Jiminy decides to show off and yells at Lucy, "I'm ready for my closeup Mr DeMille.' Since he is her idol, Lucy humors Jiminy and takes his picture accordingly.

"Stop!!!" I scream!! We are in Irvine. We park, and I am able to visit The Kitty House. "Do you know these kittens?" Lucy asks. "Well, yes, they are my cousins." I try to speak with Hello Kitty but we are limited to hand gestures, as Hello Kitty does not have a mouth with which to speak.

Contemporary Literature

My uncle lived with us when I was very young. I credit him for encouraging my natural love of reading and writing. You can thank him (or curse him-- you decide)
He does not understand why I am interested in the Twilight series. Perhaps others of you also wonder and so I will answer him publicly.
I have always read about anything I could get my hands on-- especially futuristic and science fiction themes; I love the wide openness of it all. When Brandon started reading I usually read whatever book he was studying so that I could help him with homework or discuss what he had read. Lauren is the true reader of my children. Keeping up with her has been a challenge that I have not always managed. Last year we read Jane Eyre (again). Many years ago I read the first Harry Potter book before I let her read it to see what all the fuss was about. When Twilight came along I took the same stance. That is why I started reading the series. So far I would say that Twilight is no Harry Potter with regard to the quality of writing but it was a fun, easy read and you have to give those books credit for generating so much curiosity in kids that they all actually read books!
The movies hardly live up to the books (in my opinion) as so often is the case. I don't know how well I can defend the movies except to say this: Taylor Lautners Chest.
Apart from that Very Important Point, let's chat about the books.
How can you dismiss the central and timeless themes of this book? Can good conquer evil? Does True Love really exist? Does True Love happen only once in a lifetime and can you love more than one person at one time? Could love last forever? Can someone put the best interests of another person ahead of their own interests? Does everyone have a soul? What is friendship? How much do you honor your parents? Can a book written that reserves sex for marriage be success full in this day and age? Is immortality a blessing or a curse? Can people set aside their natural tendencies for the Greater Good or are we all slaves to our personal natures? As Lord Acton said many years ago, does "Absolute power corrupt absolutely"? Do Destiny, Free Will and Fate exist? Is 'Family' about blood lines or about the bond that you choose to form?
And questions I ask myself: What would it be like if someone really loved me? What would it be like to be protected and cared for? Is it stupid or hopeful to wish for a little bit of these things?
Of course reading this book without tearing it apart for it's ridiculous plot devices can be an exercise in denial of truth-- but is it so bad to suspend reality here and there? Reality isn't all that terrific. I see no harm so long as you live in reality and just take a short vacation into your imagination here and there.
It is quiet in the house tonight. Everyone is gone out and about. But I am here enjoying these very deep thoughts and watching one of my favorite movies of all time 'Independence Day". Ah, science fiction........ shall we discuss?

Back to Snowy......

Geeezers: I realize how remiss I have been about passing along Snowy's emails. It may seem as though she dropped off the face of the earth, but she has actually been in touch with me this whole time. There is no excuse for my neglect but even so.... I have to say that posting pictures has become extremely frustrating to me and by the time I spend 10 hours clicking away on the computer at work I just find it difficult to sit down in front of a computer at home when there is a nice soft bed awaiting....
Forgive me.....
And, Back To Snowy's Tale~~

If you remember the story we last left Snowy meeting new family and friends.....

"While Chris and I waited for Monica's cousin, I was fed. I discovered I love tater tots. Mmmm. And so, I was introduced to Monica's cousin. "What's a cousin?" I asked. "First rule, no whining". "This is how we are related." Monica's grandmother is my aunt, her mother is my cousin, she is my second cousin and Becca is my third cousin." "Monica's grandmother and my mother were born here." "On a boat?" I ask. No, by "here" I mean Long Beach.

So, we drove in the car of Monica's cousin (well, really, second cousin) and saw the sights of Long Beach. The really big boat called the Queen Mary, The Performing Arts Center, and the street where Monica's grandmother was raised, New York Street, but you can barely see the street sign from my viewpoint, since I am so small.
We finally quit driving. I learn, in the car, that Monica's second cousin has a name. It's Lucy. And apparently her middle name is the same as Monica's grandmother and greatgrandmother, "Lelian". "It's hare to pronounce." I say. "It's okay, no one in the family except my Auntie and me can pronounce our name correctly, it's gaelic." What's that? I'll have to find out later.

We arrive a Lucy's home. First thing in order, a bath. Never had one. I am placed outdoors in the sun, in the warmth to dry my hair. I am more than a little scared ...
And, we watch tv. We watch a very famous program called "Dancing With the Stars", where humans in bright colors shimmy and shake around a dance floor. I am not sure why. But I enjoy the color.
The next morning it is announced I am going to work with Lucy. We're off. "Are you a Republican?" I am asked. "Well, yes, isn't everyone?" I reply. "I am not sure about the party affiliations of middle aged stuffed kittens, that's why I asked", is the response. We are going to work in a city called Yorba Linda. And we drive ...