New Family Member

(Insert Drumroll Here)

Introducing the Newest Member of the Fenner Home For Animals Who Need A Great New Home.....

My New Grand-Dog.....

TICA THE WONDER HUSKY!!!

Yes, she is beautiful!!
She joins Penny the Wonder Beagle, Angel the Wonder Cat and Daisy the Wonder Kitten.

Welcome to the Family Tica!!

Entertaining Myself

"LeAnn... Why do you blog?"

This is a question that I often ask myself as well as am asked by curious onlookers.

Why? Ahhh.... Let us ponder...

To entertain!

To entertain myself.

To entertain my family and friends.

To entertain strangers who wander on to my space here.

To Communicate.

To communicate with myself (some call this journaling)

To communicate with others

To invoke thought, discussion,

To Inspire

Inspire deeeeep thoughts

And Shallow thoughts

And imagination

I do love to hear myself talk, as you all well know.

And blogging helps me keep my mind off of myself and 'out there'

Keeping an eye out for interesting things to photograph

Trying to sku my thought process toward the positive.

Like today....

Started with a pre-dawn trip to McDonalds for their iced coffee. Better than Starbucks, twice the quanity and half the price. Ding Ding-- we have the winning Trifecta!!

And.... I noticed after awhile that something interesting was going on with my straw.

I thought it was white.

But then I thought it was blue.

And then.....

THEN I REALIZED......

It is a Magic Straw!!

It changes color when it gets cold!

WOW!!!!!

When it was in the coffee or I was sucking it IT WAS BLUE!!

When it was not and I was not IT WAS WHITE!!!

OMG!!!!

Can you picture it? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE I TOOK A PICTURE!!!!!!!

And this entertained me all day. Which was much more fun than my icky day at work or the fact that we had to take my mom to the hospital. AGAIN.

You gotta find joy wherever you can find it, Geeezers.

She's Baaaaaack!!!!!!!!

Finally!



Snowy has returned from her world travels. I came home the other day to find her sitting in the chair on our front porch.
If you have been following Snowy's story over the past 6 months or so I am sure you were as curious as I was about what she was up to! If you are new to my blog here is the short version:
Monica's childhood lovie discovered after 35 years in a box. Snowy, once released disapears. At first we suspect foul play but it turns out she just needed to go out into the world and 'find herself'
CLICK HERE FOR SNOWY'S STORY

CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW WE THOUGHT SHE HAD BEEN ABDUCTED

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT HER TIME WITH PIRATES!!


If you want to read more just do a search on this blog for "snowy" or look over last spring.

She isn't really talking so there is no explanation of exactly where she has been or what has been going on lately.



Monica assured her that she wasn't angry at her for her rather bizare behaviour, but Snowy just isn't talking!







Snowy has not come through her adventure unscathed. According to Monica she has a "Stage 4 decubitus ulcer' on her tail. It has muscle and bone exposed.

Monica says that she will need de-bridmet and further treatment.

OMG, more veterinarian bills!
If you want to help out please send cash or checks made out to "LeAnn's Vacation Fund" just because I have a convenient account under that name. You can be assured all donations will go directly to Snowy and her recovery.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Let us all take a moment to wish my Grandmother a Very Happy 96th Birthday!
It is so amazing to think of all the things she has seen, the history, advances in technology, the births of her children (2), and grandchildren (4) and great-grandchildren (8)! She has been the wife to two men whom she loved and survived the deaths of both. She still enjoys the silly sense of humor of her grand-daughters which is a good thing! We went to dinner last night to celebrate and she topped it off with a big glass full of chocolate sundae. Of course we saved her from the diabetic coma that would have been forthcoming had she eaten this alone by throwing aside our own personal safety and sharing.
I am so blessed by my family!

Day At The Museum

This past weekend Lauren came 'home' to Lancaster for a couple of days. I knew she was here because clothes mysteriously kept ending up on the bathroom floor.

It was great to have her here.

On Sunday I asked her what she might want to do Down Below when I took her home.

By the way, if you are not an Antelope Valley-ite you may not understand the term "Down Below" so I will explain this to you.

No, it is not Hell. Well, not literally. Those of us who live up in the Beautiful High Desert call anything over the mountain range and into the greater Los Angeles area "Down Below". We have used this terminology as far back as I can remember.

All REAL Antelope Valley people use this term. Only the newbies are confused... 'OMG Like Down Below WHAT????'

Anyhow..........

Lauren said that she would like to visit the Mummies of the World exhibit at the California Science Center. Lauren loves history and museums. So Sunday morning she and my sister and Becca and I headed on over the hill... that is right... we went Down Below...

Okay... Mummies are just gross. There I said it. It was unexpectedly gross and disturbing. Lauren and Becca were fascinated. I was just trying to skirt the back of the room and pray that I wasn't going to have mummy dreams when I fell asleep.

Even my sister was grossed out and she is a critical care nurse.

Now, they would not allow photography which is a true shame because, there was a load of blog material there. But there is one thing I just have to mention. I am going to try to be discrete and by that I mean use a non-atomically correct word. So lets just use the word "Rice-a-Roni".

'Rice-a-Roni' doesn't usually show up on the bodies of mummies. Sometime 'Rice-A-Roni' is stored in jars called canopic jars with other organs of the body. Sometimes parts of the brain mummify and are still there. But one of these mummies had a really big extruding 'Rice-a-Roni' and I just don't understand how that could happen. So, I did what anyone would do: I emailed the museum curator and here is what they said, again omitting the possibly offensive word and replacing with 'Rice-a-Roni".

"Dear Ms Fenner: As it was explained to me it is mainly the soft tissue that becomes mummified. The intact 'Rice-a-Roni' on the Egyptian mummy is a little unusual and demonstrates the mummy's high status in Egyptian society.

Regards,

Paula Wagner"

I am pretty sure I am on some sort of museum watch list now.

Buzzzzzzz

I heard the buzzzzz.......



At first I thought it was all in my head, like a mosquito or a very very small alien like the Baltian member of the Royal Family.
But then I realized..... it is YOU! You are all out there murmuring, pondering and wondering about my class reunion outfit.
ADMIT IT!
Does she really think she can wear that dress and not have some sort of horrible strapless dress incident? Does she really think she can do The Hustle wearing those shoes? And most of all: Will her Hostage for the Evening, Wayne, be wearing his Angel Flight Suit from back in the day.
Those Angel Flight suits were SO RAD!! My ex had one in black AND in white and I am sure Wayne did too. Your guy always looked totally gnarly wearing that suit and doing some Saturday Night Fever dance moves. Oh yeah....
So I am TOTALLY STOKED about this reunion party now! I mean, it is going to be awesome, right? And my Hostage is a total FOX!!

And by the way-- for those of you who believed that I had actually purchased that outfit I have one word for you: PSYCHE!!!
For those of you who love me enough to have told me that this was a bad idea I say "thank you" as King Solomon said in Proverbs: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses".
For those of you who were afraid to tell me not to do it, I say: SHAME ON YOU WIMPS!!
To those of you who thought I should wear it I say : REALLLLLY?????????
In reality I will be pulling something dressy from my existing closet; some dressy slacks and jacket as well as a pretty shell that has a red and black pattern on it (our school colors you know-- GO LOPES!!). I will pick up a slightly edgy belt and some shoes that have heels about half as tall so that I merely sprain an ankle not shatter one. And I will flat iron my hair within an inch of it's life. I think I will be acceptable. If I am not my Hostage promised to stick by me even if he has to put a paper bag over my face.

Now that the outfit is all set I can concentrate on my Bio. I don't want to intimidate my fellow classmates so I will probably not mention my professional success as Controller of a Multi-Million dollar corporation. Or my personal success as owner of several lovely pieces of real estate. Or my Maternal success as The Ultimate Model of Single Motherhood to my incredibly wonderful offspring. No, I won't mention these things.

Lucky for them I have a gift for Humility.

Danger at the Soccer Field!!

This fall I find myself back at the soccer fields to watch my niece, Becca, play on the Precious Diamonds team!
This is cool because for 13 years I was big into the whole AYSO thing you know.

This past Saturday there was special. The whole family made it out to the game even Lauren was there and we got my mom out in her wheelchair!

And my sister made it an occasion to remember by managing to get bit by a snake.

She took my mom to the restroom and while they were in there she was startled by a snake in the stall. So Monica, in an act of selfless heroism, rushed in, isolated the snake, grabbed it up in her bare hands and ate it.

Okay, she didn't eat it, I think she threw it out side-- but not before it BIT HER ON HER HAND! She described the snake to me and I think I got a picture of it!!>>>>>>

That is ONE HUGE MONSTER SNAKE, YA'LL!!!

Upon further investigation it turns out that it looked more like this. But seriously, it could have been a baby rattler or something.

There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity...

Captions!

I noticed a theme in the captioning:

"No, Ain't no Barbie lives here. She done lost her Section 8" Offered by KS
"Looks like Barbie has a new room mate!" Offered by SB

Caption This!

CAPTION THIS GEEEZERS!!!





Post a caption for one of these pictures!



Let's see who is most creative!!

Wayne Made Me Do It

You all remember Wayne, right? My oldest and dearest non-related friend. Wayne and I began our relationship in 1975 I believe.

It was the before the Bicentenial. The country had just seen the end of the Vietnam War. Microsoft was founded. Jimmy Hoffa disapeared. Saturday Night Live premiered. "Jive Talkin" by the Bee Gees went platnum. It was a very long time ago.
It was also the year that Mr. Swenson and some Hamster Experiments brought Wayne and I together. Yes, a Very Long Time Ago.
And so, After lo these 35 years I believe I can trust Wayne.
I hope I can.
Wayne and I (and several other people) graduated from High School in 1980. Apart from making some very good amazing friends including the father of my children, High School was not uniformly wonderful. I think that is where my very deeeeep seated insecurity about my physical beauty was forged.
The last class reunion was our 10th, in 1990. I was still married then. I had little children then. It was okay.
This year they have organized our 30th class reunion. I am not married. I have grown children. I AM TERRIFIED OF GOING TO THIS EVENT.
But Wayne wants to go. And Wayne wanted me to go. And I trust Wayne. Wayne has agreed to accompany me to this event-- not as a date but more like a Hostage. He has promised not to abandon me. If I get drunk and make a fool of myself he will care for me and not dump me somewhere off the side of the freeway.
The marketing for the even tickets states that "If you don't go, others will talk about you behind your back" That is smart advertising!!! Because now you can spend money so they can talk behind your back AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
Wayne loves me. I know this. And it is only someone who loves you that much that is able to email you encouragement about your clothing choices. He says that I out-class him. I say it is not about class it is about being ugly and fat and middle aged. He cannot understand these things. Amazingly Wayne has only gotten more handsome as time as gone by. Same with my ex-husband. I expect that people who see us together will think "OMG LeAnn must have a Fricking Great Personality"
Which is exactly what I know people said about me when Jim asked me to marry him. And this is hard for me to face even all these years later. Jim was a year behind us in school so this is not his reunion though everyone knew him and I still carry his name. But this, dear Geeezers is a very dark and lonely road that I will not drag you down....
Let's talk fashion:
Wayne thinks that I shouldn't go spend a bunch of money on a new outfit. Pshaw!!! Of course I have to have a new dress and shoes!!!
CLICK HERE TO SEE MY DRESS

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY SHOES

Disney-Mom

Now that Lauren lives with her dads, I get to be the 'Disneyland Mom'. Usually the term applies to weekend dads but after all these years of being the Mean Mom, I get to have fun!
I don't have to nag about her schoolwork or her chores or her room or her bathroom.
I just get to have fun!
So this past Sunday I drove down to Pasadena where she is living now and we headed off for a fun day.
First we had brunch at a cute little bistro.
Then we went to the mall over by the Santa Anita raceway-- that nice Westfield Mall.
I was hoping to find an outfit for my Class Reunion-- but that is a blog for another day. I did find the cutest bustier/corset thing at Torrid that was pink lace over black. I only wish I could pull it off. I am just not that daring. Lauren is, though, so I got it for her. It looks SO CUTE!! Her dad has a much healthier lifestyle so he has her eating better and working out and you can tell!
She also got some other stuff.
We went into Forever 21 (which is not nearly as nice as ours in Palmdale) and found a hoodie she wanted. I had already spent our shopping budget for the day so I had to justify buying that hoodie by blackmailing her into posing with this fur monstrosity that cost $45.00.
She really wasn't happy.
But she really wanted that hoodie.
This picture doesn't do it justice. It was pinker and rattier looking.
Please forgive me if one of you bought this... but seriously... you BOUGHT THIS?

So then we went and saw "Scott Pilgrim Vs The World" . This is ranking in my top five most hated movies ever. It is right up there with 'Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3D'. It was LOUD. It was weird. It was irritating. Clearly I am at least 30 years too old for this movie. Plus there was this super annoying chick in the seat next to me and I really REALLY wanted to whack her upside the head for just existing and being stupid and loud. This in the midst of a movie that was already stupid and loud.

Someone coughWAYNEcough said this movie was good. Were you being sarcastic or has old age made you senile already.

Then I took her home. Does that ever sound wrong. And felt wrong too. Taking her home has always meant taking her to my house. But she is doing well. And I think she is happier. It is just strange for me. And sad.

But we had a really nice, fun day and we can have more of those, so I guess I will survive.

Women of Faith

Now that I have all this spare time I can do other things.

First thing up: Going to Women of Faith conference in Anaheim this past weekend with my favorite Daughter in Law, Jericho.

We drove down Thursday afternoon so we could avoid driving in the crack of dawn in traffic Friday morning.

I am such a party animal: I fell asleep at 8:45pm. It is strange but it feels like I am MORE tired than I was when I was going 100 mph. I just feel exhausted all the time. Anyhow...

The next morning we were up bright and early and off to the conference at the Honda Center. There was wonderful praise and worship music! We danced and sang and it was so fun!

There was a great line up of speakers too: Women who had all been through the ringer just like all of us. Women who had suffered from depression, lost husbands, been estranged from parents. Luci Swindoll was there. She is 78 I think and has never been married. She has really lived a life though. I wish I could be half as brave as she has been-- traveled all over the world. Seen so many things. She is hilarious too! It is always so good to pause and take time out to examine what is going on between me and God. I like to be reminded of all of His promises in the Bible and to remember all that I have been through and how faithful He has been to give me strength and hope. I know that these things have given me what I need to get through life every day.

It was great to spend some girl time with Jericho. I am trying to be a really great Mother-in-Law. Pass down some of my wisdom and all that you know.

Can you imagine having ME for a Mother-In-Law? Buuaaahhhhaaahhha!

We came home Saturday night. It was so good to sleep in my own bed. Guy Fieri was waiting too!

She Was Right After All

Do you remember awhile back as I ranted about my Math instructor's characterization of her students as Finite Students.
I was offended.
Turns out, she was correct.
I thought I was an INfinite student, with infinite ability and brain power. I thought I was a math genius.
Sadly, I am not.
I know, I know... this is hard to accept.
The truth is often a hard pill to swallow.
Tuesday I sat there... staring at the computer screen full of matrices and linear equations and had an epiphany "WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING???"
I needed to finish 3 sections of homework (and in an hour I had not been able to get a correct answer on one of the 72 questions I needed to solve) so that I could take a test the next night.
I just sat there with drool pooling on my keyboard and finally listened to the voice that was whispering in the back of my head. No, not the one that keeps telling me to eat more chocolate. the other one. The one that said "Hey, stupid, you don't have to take this class right now" It was starting to get louder and more insistant "YOU COULD GIVE YOURSELF A LITTLE TINY BREAK!" AND LOUDER STILL "LOOK, YOU OBSESSIVE CONTROL FREAK--- YOU CAN DROP THIS CLASS AND EVERYONE WON'T HATE YOU!!!"
So I did the intelligent, mature thing.
I called my son.
And I asked him if he would hate me if I dropped the class.
Long story short--- he said he would still love me.
That was the permission I needed to accept the true fact that I am, in fact, a Finite Student. And my internal resources had run out: Not enough time. Not enough energy. Not enough brain power.
Soooo I have ceased matriculating.
For now.
What am I going to do with all this spare time??????

Fenner: P.I.

It isn't really a matter of being nosy, you know.

It is being protective of my little, Defective Brain Chip Syndrome sister.

She needs me.

Really.


So the other morning I get up around 5:30 and notice she is already gone. This isn't terribly alarming since I knew she had work at 7:00 but still, a little odd. So I drive by our usual spot for morning iced coffee (McDonalds. Really they make the best iced coffee and it is cheap. We aren't Starbucks snobs). She isn't there. My curiosity is aroused. I decide to make a quick drive by Walmart to see if she is there.

It is hard to explain my sisters obsession with Walmart. She just loves to go there and putter around and look for buys. She will never run out of shampoo or smelly perfumy body wash stuff. She is a good bargain hunter-- much better than I. When she couldn't drive she would take her bike there and try to see how much stuff she could bring home in her basket. It was excruciating for her not to be able to pop by when ever she felt like it. A nice long leisurely day at Walmart is like a spa day for her. We often joke that when she isn't driving that Walmart sales plummet and when she gets her license back they throw a confetti party for her! Now that she is back behind the wheel she enjoys the freedom to go where she wishes. Of course I would never begrudge her these trips.
Still, it amused me to find her Suburban there at the (literal) crack of dawn.
While I am snapping this picture and looking forward to teasing her about it, this guy shouts over to me "Hey, your man cheating on you?" I am thinking "Oh yeah, he is cheating on me at 5:30am AT WALMART"???? What kinda loser do I look like?
(Maybe the kind that hasn't even had a date since 1999)
So I leave but as I turn around I see her coming out of the store so I stop to say 'hi'. This guy, still standing there says "There she is!!"
Hee hee...... my early morning encounter with my cheatin man!

Sunday in Ventura

This past Sunday I took one of my BFFs, Stacy, to Ventura for a little girls day / early birthday celebration. We had a great time. For this special occasion Stacy was initiated into the Flaming Goat Cheese Sisterhood. I got a really good picture this time! Unfortunately I cannot show you the secret handshake. Because it is secret. Duh.

Possibly the funniest part of the trip happened when we were just walking down Main street doing a little window shopping. I had to stop in this little store that has Renaissance Costumes because I am looking for a dress to wear to my class reunion and I am thinking Bar Wench. I am terribly afraid of ending up with something matronly. Gah!
Anyhow....
We are walking along and there is this crowd of people all laughing and taking pictures:

This is an actual real live dog, ya'll. A HUGE bloodhound that is just sitting there in the passenger seat of this car apparently waiting for his owner (who is kidding who here-- he is the owner and he is waiting for his Staff Person to come back and drive him somewhere). He is all chilled out looking for all the world like he could hop in behind the wheel and drive off by himself.
The picture really does not do him justice. He had quite a crowd of admirers.

If his Staff person were really smart, they would have put a tip cup out there.
That pup could really cash in!

So HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY STACY!! I love you!

Lucky Update

The last time you saw Lucky, The Rescue Kitten was July 28th. He looked like this:

He was, literally a stickery bag of bones. The first time he pooped it was all dry grass and dirt.

This is Lucky as of 8-30th!!

Isn't he adorable? He is all nicely filled out. He has the cutest face, but I couldn't get him to sit still long enough for a close up. He is a cuddler and a purr-er and he likes people. He has finally decided the dog won't eat him! This was the first time he had ventured downstairs.

Last night he woke me up licking my nose. If you remember the only cat I have ever known to do that was my Jasmine who was hit by a car a month or so ago.

I don't believe in Feline Reincarnation..... but that is kinda cool, huh?