Christmas Day

My Report On Christmas Day:
We were astounded that Santa came, judged that the kids had been more nice than naughty, and left gifts for them. Malley the cat preferred to play with a rubber band he found and some boxes.

This is my son and daughter in law wearing some very silly hats. I don’t know where they get it. I am so dignified and serious myself. They got the four of us who live in the house Snuggies because we are always so cold. It is a big house and it is always about 60 degrees downstairs.

After a yummy breakfast The 1st Annual Fenner-Williamson Holiday Olympics commenced.
Teams were drawn: Brandon, Jericho, Ashlie and Zachary on one team. Lauren, Monica, Rebecca and Scooter on the other. First up was Pictionary played with modeling clay. That is me timing the game. I am wearing my own version of a holiday shirt “The beatings will continue until morale improves” heh

Game Two was a who knows who the best type game including questions like favorite color, day of the week you were born on, what kind of chocolate do you like best etc….
Game Three was a word scramble. Now, you all KNOW how much I hate to poke fun at my sister. It is SO HARD for me to do this…. But she just makes it too easy. All of the words were from the story of Christ’s birth including Shepards, Angels, Baby Jesus, Manger etc…. one of the words, pre-scramble was ‘yarm’. Can anyone guess what that correct answer was? If you said ‘army’ you are wrong. THERE WAS NO ARMY AT THE NATIVITY!!!!!! Hello? Monica? Army. Buuaaaahhhhaaahhhaaaa (She says to me “You are going to blog about this aren’t you?” OF COURSE I AM) Just in case you are still confused… the word I was looking for was Mary. Not army.
Anyhow….
The last game I had planned was a relay race that involved unwrapping a gift in the family room, running to the living room, re-wrapping the gift and running back to the family room to hand off to the next person on the team.
My family is so talented and smart that at the end of these games we were all tied up. I was not prepared for that. It took me awhile to come up with a tie breaker, which turned out to be drawing Christmas trees and snowmen while wearing blindfolds. And the winners were the RED TEAM: Brandon, Jericho, Ashlie and Zachary. It was soooo close. It was a heartbreaker…. So their names will be embellished on the Fabulous Trophy.

Christmas dinner was great. We barely had enough food. Especially the mashed potatos. (insert sarcasm here). It was awesome to have the whole family together and we feel very blessed that we can all be together and celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The Passing of A Torch

The holidays are full of traditions-- we all have them. At our house Santa always leaves a new pair of jammies on the foot of the bed to wear on Christmas morning. We drive around town looking at lights. We have far too much food and goodies sitting around for weeks at a time.

And we have Grandpa Cookies. They are famous around town you know!

My french grandfather (by marriage not by blood-- not that it matters except to say that I am not actually French) had these very special cookie irons that had been in the family for who knows how long. He taught my father to make them and the past weekend my father passed the torch to my son. Yes it did skip a generation. I think it is a man thing.

The true name for them is Gullet. I do not know how to pronounce this correctly. The dough is very rich full of butter and sugar and a little flour and gets pressed between the irons individually. They are wonderful. My dad created a cooking 'stove' out of a frame and a camp stove and a bbq.

And now my son, Brandon, is Keeper of the Grandpa Cookie

and he shall carry the Torch onward until it is time for him to pass it along to another generation. I hope I am there to see that!

To me this symbolizes one of the greatest gifts of the holiday season. Being comfortable and comforted by family. And not only the family we are born to but also the family we chose. Teaching each other all the lessons in life about life and death and memories and history and legacy. It isn't just a delicious cookie (and they are already long gone) but it is an acceptance of adulthood and a investment of trust too. Yeah, I am putting a lot on this cookie aren't I?

Holidays are different every year. New challenges jump up at us to accept and deal with. Losses happen. Surprises (good or bad) come along. What is going to remain in our hearts and minds for those coming along behind us? What will our children remember of these times? What will they teach their children. I hope they teach them that there is joy to be found in the giving--- the whole process. What it is like to know another person well enough to anticipate the happiness they will get from a simple gift from the heart. I hope they learn that serving others is it's own gift. That creating things with their own hands has extra value. I hope they learn that relationship between each other and with God brings hope and strength and fun! I hope they learn perseverance and have personal ethics that define who they are in a really good way! I hope I have done an okay job at modeling these things.

If I don't see you tomorrow, Geeezers, I pray that this holiday is blessed for you! I pray that you are touched with love and laughter and hope in the New Year! And that the twilight of 2010 sees us all together again.

Merry Christmas!

Lunch Out With The Hoard

It all started out nicely enough. Lunch out with allllllll the kids. That means 5 between 10 and 17 with an extra 11 year old thrown in for good measure. To be exact we had 10, 11, 12, 14, 16 & 17. And then my sister who is 74 years old. (not really) (like I had to tell you that!!)

They wanted Thai food.

This is my older nephew Brian II-- but he is Scooter to the family.

In an unspeakable act of Nickname Bigotry we were not allowed to bring him into the restaurant because they had a rule:

POSITIVELY NO SCOOTERS!!!!!

HOW RUDE IS THAT??




And let me tell you these people had no business discriminating against customers because we were the only ones there!
Sadly I could not get a clear picture of this menu but there was a drink on there called the Monkey Nipple. It was spelled wrong but we were assured it is, in fact, called Money Nipple.

Well, of course this got us all giggling like a bunch of idiots. And my other nephew, who is not carrying the burden of a nickname- Zachary-- he decided he wanted a Money Nipple.
Yes, there are many, many jokes there but I am going to try to pass on most of them in the interest of finishing this post sometime tonight. Because I keep trying to FORMAT this dang thing and the pictures disappear and I am about ready to chuck my computer out the window.

Anyhowwwww
The waiter, who had NO OTHER CUSTOMERS was not the slightly bit amused at our jocularity over the name of the drink.

Now, if you don't want people to LAUGH about it why call it that??? HUH???? Call it "A Glass Full of Ground Up Rice and Coconut Milk" because that is descriptive at least.
When the drink finally came no one could stand it except for Lauren who loves that Horchata stuff too......
And Zachary discovered, as so many of us do, that asking for a Monkey Nipple is rarely as fulfilling as one would hope.

The End

I AM FAMOUS

Yes, I am a legend in my own mind....
But I am also FAMOUS in the Blogosphere today.
Please check out my very good friend JC's blog to hear all about ME!!
Click HERE

DO IT NOW!!!

A Very Antler Christmas

MY CAMERA IS FIXED!!!!!
Yea!!!
One of my office husbands fixed it. Apparently the shiney gold colored thingies had gunk on them and he cleaned them with his pencil eraser.
That is High Tech there. Who knew!!

So today I forced my sister to drive to my office (because we rarely see each other in sunshine) (yeah, it IS a vampire thing, okay?) and forced her to pose on her car hood so you all can get the full impact of the Car Costume she bought.
Yeah, a Car Costume.
That is what they call it, lol. My sister has dressed up her car as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
My son, upon seeing this, commented that next year he can rig it up so the nose flashes.
My family. I think I will keep them.

Purrfect Holidays

You can tell the minute you walk through the front door that this is a house of women--- there is a white tree with feather boa 'garland' and pink ornaments.
Best of all, we see Jasmine, my lovely Siamese, curled up under the tree--- she is the cutest ornament I think.

And since I have shown off my pretty little Siamese I am going to tell you about a great group of friends I have: The Purrrfect Furgang.
This group started out on the Weight Watchers 40+ community board way back in about 2001 I believe (but I could be wrong). Our alpha Cat is Janet (JC) and we would post messages back and forth about our lives and diets and our common love of cats (and dogs too-- but mostly cats).
Eventually JC created a Yahoo group and now we share thoughts and problems and pictures.
We are from both coasts and a few from the middle of the country too. We have never met-- not yet anyhow-- though we all would like to someday.
This year we have seen a lot of illness, job loss, family problems and the loss of many of our furry family. Personally, we have lost two in our household: Madeline & Lily. And some of our group have lost kitties just in the last few days or weeks so this is a bittersweet time. Meanwhile, we have a safe place to vent, ask for prayers and/or good thoughts and advice and support when we are trying to make the hard choices when it comes to our furgangs.
Every year JC organizes the Purrfect Furgang Holiday Card Exchange. The quest to find the perfect cat themed card starts the minute the stores stock the shelves. Some feature pictures of the whole furry family. Some are just cute or funny or sweet. It is always a highlight of the season to display all my cat cards. You would be surprised at how many there really are!!
So, here is to my Furrgang Friends! We have been through a lot together this year. Let's hope 2010 is a little kinder to everyone!!!
With Headbonks to all~

Things That Make Me Go "huh"? Part 3

When you use your debit card at Sonic it asks you if you know your pin number.

HUH????

Ummmm, Thank You Sonic for protecting my financial security.

A Christmas/ Hannukah Conversation

Let me say right up front that I didn't ask permission to blog about this, so I am going to use a pseudonym for the players in this conversation.



Person Who For The Sake Of Brevity and Anonymity Will Be Known As Laura: My friends Mandy and Tracey were talking today about if it is allowed for Jewish people to have Christmas lights.

LuAnn: What do you mean 'allowed' like is it legal?

Laura: No, are they allowed?

LuAnn: Well, are they Orthodox or Conservative or ethnic/cultural Jews?

Laura: (Withering Stare)

LuAnn: Well, it is mostly a free country so you can do whatever you want. Mostly.

Laura: Okay how about if we put a menorah on our lawn?

LuAnn: Why would we do that?

Laura: (uuhhhhhh)
LuAnn: Do you know what a menorah commemorates?

Laura: The 8 days of Christmas!

LuAnn: (THUD)



Over a decade of very expensive private Christian School education.

Didn't I TELL You????

I said "Don't get me started on my hair" but nooooooooo you couldn't just let it go, could you?
So a few years ago some of my hair decided it was sick and tired of going to all that hard work producing melanin. SICK AND TIRED!!!!! And they just weren't going to do it any more. So they stopped and those hairs turned gray.
Of COURSE they were mostly located in the FRONT of my head right where my natural part is--- RIGHT IN THE FRONT!!!! Oh, and in case that wasn't enough they also decided they wanted a change so the ones that were curly decided to be straight. And the ones that were straight decided to be curly. Oh, but not a NICE straight or a NICE curly--- noooooo they were going to take a walk on the wild side. They were going to party like it was 1999. They were going to zig and zag and pop out at strange angles.
And WHAT'S MORE--- they weren't going to allow themselves to be painted!!! Oh NOOOOOO they were going to resist holding color more than 20 minutes unless they were tended to by professionals who cost a fortune and even at that they planned to STINKING GROW all the time. Every Day... millimeter by millimeter until they reclaimed their GRAYNESS!

And don't even get me started on my ear piercings.............

It Isn't Easy Being THIS Beautiful

I don't really want to admit that it had been a long time since I had my eyebrows waxed, but let's put it this way...... I looked like two woolly caterpillars had crawled onto my face.

Well, they weren't red and black though. But they did bear a striking resemblance to this specimen.



Don't be critical... it is just a visualization!!!



Anyyyhow......

I went to my favorite Nail Place where I was greeted with great enthusiasm because in the summer I go there regularly for pedicures and have brought them in so much business that they are thinking of putting a plaque up in my honor right next to the buddist shrine.....

While my favorite eye brow wrangler was working on me she nagged me constantly about how badly I had let myself go and how she was sure I needed a pedicure (which I do, but seeing as how it is winter and no one sees my tippy toes and I am strapped for luxury funds-- I just can't see it) and how I really should consider having MY ENTIRE FACE WAXED because as all we middle aged women know... hair starts growing in strange places. Thankfully not in our ears and noses like men, but other strange facial hair starts showing up to remind you that your child bearing years are behind you and all your female body parts are slooooowing down and no longer producing the great hormones that made you all girly like because NOW YOU ARE OLD!!!!!!!

For example.... after she RIPS the eyebrow hairs out by the roots and plucks away at all the stragglers she gets out some scissors and trims the hairs that have decided to keep growing and growing and growing so that, if you never had this done you might surely have to tuck them behind your ears just to see!!

REALLLY!! It is TRUE!!

And don't even get me started on my hair.........

Prepare To Be Impressed

Attention Geeezers (pronounced JEEEZERS, by the way, not as in Old Folks)

I think it is time for me to come out and tell you all that I am Bi-Matricular.
That is right. As of today.
Even up to this morning I was singularly matriculating but sometime around noon I made the leap and committed myself to matriculating in more than one location. At One Time

Prepare Yourselves

I am now a college student at the Antelope Valley College (Go Mauraders!!!) where I will be studying Financial Management AND at Cerro Costa College (Go Coyotes!!!) where I will be studying Spanish.
In a few short years I hope to graduate from these various esteemed educational centers with a Double Associates Of Arts Degrees.

Oh Yeah


And then I will transfer to California State University at BAKERSFIELD (GO ROADRUNNERS!!!) where I will eventually (cough2019cough) graduate with a Bachelors Degree in Bidness

I know. I know. You WISH you were matriculating like me!!

Things That Make Me Go 'Huh'? Part 2

The other night my neice Becca and I were driving home from dance class.... Well, I was driving, she was riding along with me.....
Anyyyyhowwww....
We saw a man dressed up as a clown with one of those signs that he was flipping around....
Advertising....

Are you ready for this....

A Tattoo Parlor.........

Huh?

Things That Make Me Go 'Huh'? Part 1

Cell Phone: RING RING RING
Me: Hello?
Lauren: What is that thing. That thing that is like a cake but it has all that stuff in it like fruit or whatever?
But no one likes it.
What is that thing called?
Me: Fruitcake?
Lauren: FRUITCAKE (Insert hysterical teenage girl laughter here) Okay Bye!
Me: HUH?

Things I Hate

Raise your hand if you hate those motion controlled paper towel dispensers that they have in some public restrooms.

Are you raising your hand?

Because I am not sensing it.
Okay put it down next to the monitor and wave it around
Do some jazz hands

I am just not sensing it, are you sure you are waving?
Are you SURE????
Try doing that move from 'Grease' the hand chuck or something

Are you doing it?
Because I am JUST NOT SENSING IT and I can't dispense more wit on this blog until I sense it

Forget it

Wipe your hands on your pants then

What-Evah........

Adventures in Higher Education

Most of you know that I am on a quest to complete my Bachelors Degree in Business. I started my college education off with a bang and an AA way back in 1982-- mere weeks before my wedding. Yea, verily, I can see with clarity the moment I veered off the path..... and neglected to take the road less taken.........

Anyyhooowww....

I have taken courses here and there over the years but started back with a goal in mind about 2 years ago. Thus far I have accumulated an additional 19 credits toward the 3959 that I need to graduate (slightly exaggerated for effect).
And I have met with advisers at CSUB regularly. Today I went again to review what I have taken and have yet to take only to find out that some of my ancient transcripts were mis-interpreted because the course numbers have changed over the years. I mean some of my earliest stuff was in hieroglyphics. And an art course I took a few years back was Art XVII so there you go....

The good news: The ONLY course I had managed to register for spring I have already taken!!
The bad news: The ONLY course I had managed to register for spring I have already taken!!
By the time I got to register virtually everything I needed was closed. As it was I had to beg my boss to let me take off time during the day to take this course.
So NOW what do I do?????
Thankfully.... the course that follows this one Managerial Accounting had a few openings for the same days and time so I am good. Apparently there are actually classes that are too boring for even desperate students to take.
The other bad news is I discovered there is another course I need to take.
You better sit down for this one: FINITE MATHEMATICS
Finite Mathematics? As opposed to what.... INFINITE MATHEMATICS????
Egads, isn't it enough that you have to deal with IMAGINARY NUMBERS without having to deal with FINITE MATHEMATICS?
Can anyone tell me what the heck this is???????
I mean, if I can ever register for it I will be sure to educate you all on exactly what it is because I will become an expert you know.

It IS A Small World After All

QUICK IMPORTANT UPDATE TO TURKEY TROT POST!



Remember this freak, I mean Wonderful Interesting Woman who plucks out her leg hair? CLICK HERE to refresh your memory

I just found out that her nephews by marriage came in first in the Turkey Trot. Oh Yeah Caleb and CRITTER Schroeder are her husbands nephews.

Who would have thought David would have a nephew named CRITTER???
Raise your hand if you aren't surprised!!!

Tuesday Update

So... how was your Thanksgivings, Geeezers????

I started mine out with my very first 5K Run!!!

Errrr make that Walk!!!

Ssslllooooowww walk even. Okay we only made 4.2K....

OKAY FINE STOP PUSHING ME!!!

We are pretty sure we came in dead last. And we came in from the wrong side of the finish line too!

WHAT EVER

Still, we did it Chandra and I and we are VERY proud of ourselves!!!

It even made the newspaper!! CLICK HERE to see the news article!!! FRONT PAGE!!

The actual newspaper article had a COLOR PICTURE too!! But they don't show it online probably because so many people were destraught that they didn't go participate like some of us did (coughLeAnnandChandracough).

I took a quick pic while people were gathering so here it is.

Pretty Cool Huh!