Taxi Cab Confessions: Back Seat Driver Edition

So here we are, waving good-bye to April (already!) which puts us about halfway through my employment as Taxi Chauffer-ette for my sister and my neice. I have to say it really hasn’t been all that big a deal and so far I haven’t forgotten anyone and only once sat outside the hospital reading a magazine for half an hour wondering when she was going to get off of work only to find out she had told me that morning that she was getting a ride home. I blame that on The Monster. It makes me fuzzy in the mornings.
Anyhow…..
The other day we were driving around on my lunch break because I needed to go check on my grandkitten and my sister just likes to ride in the car and hang her head out the window sometimes and we were discussing the future of our home situation and how there are COWS in the middle of Quartz Hill still after all these years.
COWS
And I was remarking that in my musings about getting a house that we can all live in maybe that I had momentarily forgotten that eventually she is going to be able to drive again and then we can cover for each other again etc…… And I was sitting there at an intersection where there was a turn lane and I had a red arrow and saying how nice that will be for her when she can drive again.

And she starts nagging me to turn.

Like, I could say she was Screetching at me to turn, but that really would be an exaggeration. But she was verbally poking at me! Poking and poking!!
LeAnn
LeAnn
Poke
LeAnn. You can go.

And it reminded me of when we were little kids and she would BREATHE on me and then I would be forced to tie her hands behind her back and tickle her until she peed her pants or maybe to lick my finger and TOUCH her with it.
Yeah, it was THAT BAD.
So after she had POKED me a few times I sweetly asked her if she had forgotten how to drive in the past 5 weeks because RED means DON’T GO YET, IDIOT.

She was like

“oh”

Pip And The New Story!!

I reeeeaaally need to get back on the Bloggy Bandwagon... I need some inspiration.


I wonder what my friend, Pip The Squirrel is doing? You remember Pip, don't you? If not click HERE to read about when I met him. Or HERE to read about the Killer Koi.
I am rather in the mood for a new story! I think I will go for a stroll in the forest and see if I might coax another story from him!


Pip??? Yooooo Whoooooo!!!
Pippy Pip Pip Pip?????
Wherefore Art Thou, Pipster????

"What do you want!!!" He grumpily replied "It had better be good because my weekly online Warcraft game is due to commence in 17.42 minutes and I simply will not be late!"

I was hoping for a new story!

Pip gave that some thought, and then replied "Well, then, what have you to offer by way of libation and refreshment?"



"No beverage today, Mr Pip, but I do have this enticing donut!"









Pip!! Pip??? Where are you going?

PPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Encouraging Each Other

Hey Geeezers--- I know it has been awhile since I posted. I have been busy battling the Monster and sometimes it robs me of myself for a time.
Anyhow.......
I came across this quote that I thought was really meaningful and wanted to share with you all. It is by William Law who was a theologian many many moons ago, hence the Old English tone....

"Condescend to all the weaknesses and infirmaries of your fellow creatures, cover their frailties, love their excellences, encourage their virtues, relieve their wants, rejoice in their prosperities, compassionate their distresses, receive their friendship, overlook their unkindness, forgive their malice."

I hope this is what I do for you all every day more and more it is what I strive for!
Love to all!

LeAnn

Taxi Cab Confessions: Emergency Supplies

As you know, ever since my sister had her EBF a few weeks ago I have taken over much of the family chauffeuring. The best part is driving my niece and her friends around because I keep my eyes on the road and my ears tuned in for interesting tidbits of conversation!

Don't judge me!
If they don't want me to hear they should close the sound-proof window thingie!

Last week I heard this snippet of a conversation between my niece (9) and her Bff (10):

"Yeah, he is REALLY cool. He keeps a piece of jerky in his wallet in case he gets super hungry. You know, like, emergency jerky"

Emergency. Jerky.
Who
Knew

Miscellany

miscellany   /ˈmɪsəˌleɪni; Brit. mɪˈsɛləni/ [mis-uh-ley-nee; Brit. mi-sel-uh-nee]
–noun, plural -nies. A miscellaneous collection or group of various or somewhat unrelated items.


Today's blog is full of miscellany. Why, you say? Because there is a lot of random stuff on my mind.

Miscellany #1
I am amazed and astounded that many of you believed that I actually went to Cabo San Lucas on Spring Break. Pshaw! Of course I didn't. I dont take vacations--- didn't you read my "Chocolate Around the World" Blog??? (If you see wording in a different color and underlined that means it is a link! And remember to look at all three parts) No, sadly, I didn't do a darn interesting thing on Spring Break. I worked. That is my office and my office mates. We spent the week as we do every week-- noses to the grindstones!

Miscellany #2
What is a blinkie? WHAT IS A BLINKIE???? You have to view my regular blog page so if you aren't AT my blog but are viewing from an email--- GO TO MY BLOGSITE!!! DO IT NOW!!! Go to the right hand scroll down until you get to my message about what I love! Because this is a very important cause to me--- cuz it isn't just a cause it is two people whom I love. Two children!

Miscellany #3
School is really putting a damper on my blogging time. That is the pits. I love blogging. It feeds my need to speak, maybe even be heard. School is hard. I joke a lot but it is a lot of work on my tired old brain. I am wondering if two classes a semester is too much. I have trouble getting balance in my life. I think I have it kinda all figured out only to have something big come up during the semester that makes it all feel like too much. Last semester it was my mom being so sick. This semester it is the EBF my sister had. (Again with the link). Over the summer I might take a poetry class online for a weird credit I need to pick up. How hard could that be for someone who can write a whole blog IN HAIKU (link). Poetry is all so.... so......ridiculous though. I used to know this guy in my singles group who wrote poetry and would read it. I was always torn between wanting to BARF or just whop him upside the head. That is right. I support art in it's various forms.

Miscellany #4
I am getting a little crunchy.
(crunchy Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc. ) That is what happens when you are a homeschooler like I am. I am hoping to teach her all kinds of important life skills. One of them is cooking. She said she would learn to cook if I got her this cookbook. How cool is that!! It is SO retro!!!!

Miscellany #5
You may not know this about me and I may be stepping out on a limb here but I am going to reveal something personal. I do this because I really feel a need to be authentic and real with people around me. I just spent too much time in my life putting on a good show. At this point I figure if you are going to reject me, do it right up front. (Is it a wonder I don't date? hehe) Most of the time things are great. Sometimes not so much. And I just think-- enough of the BS of all pretending to be perfect. Let's just show some compassion for people who have issues we don't even when we just don't 'get' it. Lets just be kind. Lets all just admit that we all have stuff to deal with-- that is how life is. It doesnt mean you are a 'good' person or a 'bad' person--- it is just the humanity of life. Myself-- I have some sort of thing that happens every so often in my ratty old brain that causes me to have periods of really intense anxiety that I just simply wake up with. I dont understand it and yes, I do take medication for it. I fight back against the monster when it rears its ugly head. And these are times that I realize how much I really do need the people around me who care about me. This being one of those times, I want to tell you all that I am grateful for your friendships and support. And I want to be sure to let you know that there are a lot of people who suffer and struggle in silence-- but we are not alone. When there is some sort of monster in your life-- fight it! Gather strength from friends! I hope you have faith in God to draw from because I can't see where else you can get enough strength to push through it! And let's be there for each other. Say the words you forget to say or you figure the other person knows. Show love and kindness. Love someone up and tell them you care even if you dont have a clue relating to their problems. I came across a verse today. I like it! Proverbs 11:25 (NIV) A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. And isnt it just too true that loving up someone else leaves you feeling pretty loved up yourself?Try it! Let me know what happens!
Meanwhile, I just love you guys!!
LeAnn

I Am So Bored!!

You like the new look to the blog? I think it is prettty!
Once you figure out how to switch it around it only takes a minute.
Be sure to check out my new Blinkie!
(and if you don't know what that is, just look around on my blog and you will know it when you see it!)
Thank goodness it is back to work tomorrow.
I am soooooooooooooo bored!!!!!!!!
Ug!

Spring Break in Cabo San Lucas

HOLA Geeezers!!!


I know it is rather cruel of me to be posting this from sunny, beautiful Cabo where I am spending my Spring Break this year! I hope you won't be too jealous!!
My accomodations are amazing and the FOOD! Oh my goodness!!! It is beyond description!!!


There is SO MUCH TO DO!


I can lounge by the pool or I can take a nap or I can stretch out on the beach, listen to the waves crash and read my favorite book!
All the cares of everyday life just float away!


Here are some pictures of my cabana boys.

That is Ricardo and Tomas



Aren't they handsome? My every wish is their command. They vie for my attention all day long!

Sometimes one of them will come by my deck chair and say something like "Deja de estar sonando y ponte a trabajar, idiota!" I think it means "Can I get you a refreshing beverage?"


Here is a picture of my new friend, Clauditita! You can tell by this picture that she can party hearty that is for sure!

It is going to be so hard to come back home to work and school and everyday life!

Guest Blogger: Oliver Thomas O'Malley

Hello!
Allow me to introduce myself: I am Oliver Thomas O'Malley Cat!

I heard tell that the house Senior Staff Person (some of you know her as LeAnn) indicated to her son that her feline roomates would never speak out via her blog. But, as she tells it, she never promised him anything. She is off celebrating Spring Break in Cabo San Lucas. Perhaps she will send us a message soon, but meanwhile she left the computer on... and I always say it is better to ask forgiveness than permission..... And So, TA DA!!

Guest Blogger!!

And she feels as though anything short of this FreakShow http://kittybellys.com/ is perfectly normal. Including allowing occasional guest blogs.

Here is a baby picture.

Yes, feel free to 'ooooo' and 'aaahhhh'. I was, and am, quite adorable. My Staff has a weakness for saving small felines who have found themselves in dire straits. Occasionally she visits the local House of Horror and brings someone home. My sister Jasmine joined the family a year earlier from the same Asylum of Terror. She saw me stretch out a paw and she just had to take me home. Obviously, she knows Greatness when she sees it.

Currently I am King of the Household. I perform many important functions including Garage Inspector


And Security Officer. I am able to
get a view of the entire kitchen from this spot.




I also do all of my Staff Persons Economics homework. She is well meaning, but actually quite stupid and I constantly have to explain simple concepts such as foreign currency exchange rates and how to calculate the Gross National Product. Seriously, and she thinks she is going to get a business degree.
Don't make me laugh.

I am also in charge of internet access in the house. As you can see from this picture I was carefully monitoring what Boris is looking at on the computer. He says he is doing homework, and he may well be doing so, but I am always on the lookout for Kitty Porn.
We have high standards in Casa de Malley

Here are 25 things you might not know about me:
1) I am going to turn the big '3' this summer
2) I have amber colored eyes
3) I have a special love for my staff persons sister, Monica. (Rawr)
4) I like my sisters Chanel and Yvette the best and have raised them from kittens
5) I hate my sister Maddy for no good reason at all
6) I hate my sister Jixie because she is a PITA
7) I like to sit under the bathtub faucet and let water drip down between my eyes
8) I am named after the Disney cats from Oliver & Company, Thomasina and O'Malley the alley cat from Aristocats
9) My staff person gave me middle names because she knew I was going to get in a lot of trouble and wanted to be able to yell out more than one name. But she calls me Malley.
10) I am her favorite

Well, this has been FUN!
As my second cousin, twice removed would say:
TTFN (Ta Ta for Now!)

Malley

Chocolate Around the World: The Final Chapter

When we last left The Princess and The Older Sister they were about to enter the Cave of Prizes......

Alright, said he and led us off to the Cave of Prizes where the Younger Princess choose a golden ticket that meant that she had won………….

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!

BUT WAIT you still get to take a spin on the wheel!

Which won her……… a trip to Las Vegas during the week or a pair of theme park tickets.

You mean instead of a check for $100,000.00 we could have a free trip to the Really Truly Mickey Mousiest Magic Kingdom??? Or we could go visit The Monster Human Being Eating Orca OF DOOM? Yea!!! Who needs money!!! Give us the tickets……………..

"Surely so" said he " but first I must give you one last final opportunity to re-think your position about WHY you don’t ever want to take vacations?

What is wrong with you????

Sure, one of you is a slave to the spirit of Pragmaticism and the other has an Alien Brain Chip but surely even the two of you gigantic LOSERS can see that only a Court JESTER would be so foolish to walk away without leaving a copy of your credit card?????

NO?

REALLLLY????

ARE YOU SURE?????

Really really really SURE?????

This is it… I am going to walk away and then you will be out of luck…

I am walking…

this is me walking away….

Your last chance…. Seriously… I mean it………….

If you walk out that door you can never come back….

Okay

Fine

See that DOOOR right there? The dismal depressing door into Dante’s 7^th level of HELL???

Go! Go through that door!! Leave me!!!

And so we went through that door with our finances intact, if not our dignity.

SLAM!

The door closed behind us…. Then we followed the signs through the windowless maze of shoddy dirty blank walls and carpetless floor.

It seemed endless.

We began to wonder if ever we would make it out alive.

The Younger Princess started looking faintly like a Dove Chocolate as the Older Sister of Practicality contemplates how long she could go before becoming a cannibal..

Finally-- A Shining Beacon Of Light.............

An exit Sign!

HUZZZAH!!!!

So, The Princess and the Older Sister heeded the pleadings of the children and hurried home to hunt for the missing Hamster.....

Realizing that they may not have $100,000.00...

They may not have a new car or a home entertainment center........

They may only have tickets to see the Giant Humongous Orca That Will Be Really Scary and Get Us Wet..............

But they will always have each other.

And the memory of the Girl with the Flashing Buttcheeks.

The End

On Parenting

Proverbs 22:6 says ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’

At this point I am pretty much done with the child raising thing. My son is 24 (and so is my DIL) and my daughter is 17.

Even by 17, you are done training them. By that age you have shifted into the ‘influential’ stage. The foundation is set…or the lack of a foundation is set… but whatever you did is about all you get to do. (I am going to include my DIL in this scenario because she has been one of my kids for a really long time now, even though I did scare her to death the first… oh let’s say.... 5 years she knew me, lol. Seriously. Poor girl. I mean think about having me for your boyfriend’s mom. Yeah, scary stuff)

Anyhow……….. All of my kids have a good biblical foundation. And they have multiple sets of parents with different value sets and parenting styles. They have a lot to contend with. So the first part of their lives I spent exposing them to the values that I would like them to adopt.

Those were the ways I thought they should go. And now I am along in that stage where I am trying to help them in the way THEY think they should go.

Individually. Differently. Uniquely.

Cuz I don’t have cookie cutter kids, ya’ll.

They are all as different as night and day. In my 'not-so-humble-opinion'

I believe my son values respect more than anything. He yearns to be respected and his views carefully considered.

My DIL seeks to be cherished and supported. She doesn’t quite have the entire universe figured out yet (unlike her husband who is the most like me God help her) but she is figuring it out.

My daughter needs to be seen and accepted for who she is…. in whatever which way that presents itself at any given time. And she is gonna put it all up in my grill so she can see the reaction. Every. Single. Day.

So my plan, at this stage in my mom-life, is to push my agenda whenever possible but at the same time work very hard to honor the heart desires of my kids. I don’t always understand what is important to them but I try very hard to accept and respect their dreams.

Ephesians 6:4 says ‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ I have been known to exasperate my kids at time because I didn’t trust that the way THEY need to go might be different than the way I want them to go…..

And their plan might even be.... gulp... okay after all......

It is a hard thing for me, but I am trying to learn.

Hence the nose……….

Serious.Life Magazine!

The April Issue of Serious.Life Magazine is up!
The magazine is free. Here's a link to view: http://www.seriouslifemagazine.com

Chocolate Around The World: Part Deux

We Last Saw The Princess and the Older Sister as they arrived at the Reception Area of the Mysterious Dungeon of ‘We are not a time share’ Time Share Company

Our sales person Sir Ken of Amway introduced himself and led us to our table where he promised we would spend no longer than 90 minutes listening to a very low key fairy tale about magical destinations after which we would be free to have our prize bestowed upon us.

The Older Sister is a patient soul. A simple soul. A soul with expectations of life that are so low that even the slightest hint of prosperity is like a party. And so she sat quietly trying not to interfere while Mr. Amway (who was the perfect gentleman, I will say) regaled us with tales and pictures of places so majestic that her mind could not even comprehend the possibility of a visit.

Nay, not even if the payments were made ridiculously low.

And then the coup de grace; question upon question designed to denigrate, demoralize and humiliate--- how long had it been, Sweet Princess, since your last full weeks vacation? Do you not even DREAM of such a thing? Do you not realize that you DESERVE such a thing? Where, in all the world would you go if ever crass lucre were not a consideration? Dear, Sweet Princess… you work much too hard… you take care of far too many peasants… your manicure is rough sewn by years of pounding clothing on rocks and plucking chickens….. do you not see that your very life is passing you by????

The Rogue offered us COOKIES! He even played the “I was a single dad and I regret not spending more quality time with my kids” card.
Oh yes, HE DID go there! The man was a WIZARD I tell you!

And so, dear readers, my conscious soul rose above my body so that I could see the empty shell with the vacant eyes nodding ascension to the Duke of Amway and his horrid stories………

As fate would have it, it was just this moment that the Chimes rang out!!! Go forth, Princesses, into the Theater of Magnificent Manipulation ….. where we met Jackie the Earl of Imaginings. Sir Jackie questioned us, all 40 or so, one by one by one…. about our fondest dreams of vacationing…..

Where would we go if we could travel anywhere at all and it didn’t cost a thing….. Ahhhh….. perish the thought! Why, I say, WHY entertain such thoughts???? Does it not make one discontented?? Does it not exasperate the soul?????
Europe, said the Older Sister. How amazing would such a trip be!
”A Trip Around the World With CHOCOLATE” exclaimed the Younger Princess to the delight of the crowd.
”You CAN live your dreams’ said the Earl. If you want to.... Soon” he continued “ you will return to Master Amway and he will show you the scale models of our resorts and introduce you to the Miracle Manager who will help you see how you can live out your own fantasy.”

At this point I glanced at my time piece, expecting to see that we had been held prisoner for at least a fortnight…… but no! Time passes strangely in the Mysterious Kingdom…… yet it had by then been considerably more than 90 minutes. Alas! Could it be that the 90 minutes counted Master Amway’s speeches only? EGAD! WE WILL NEVER ESCAPE!!
Momentarily, the Miracle Manager floats to our table and begins to spin her web:
Can you buy it with some cash? No, we cannot buy it with some cash!
Can you trade it for some stash? NO! We will not trade it for some stash!
Would you, could you with a card? We would not, could not with a card!
We will not buy your timeshare plan, we will not buy your plan, my man!!

Sadly, sadly they walk away… and in their place a new knight appears! “Hello, said he! I am Baron vonTimeshare and it is my job to make sure you understand the riches you will behold in nary a moment in the prize room!”
Are you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE you cannot buy our plan?
What if the costs were half as much? Would you, could you go dutch?
Share the plan, that is not so bad? Would it not be nice to be less sad?
Think me not a cad, said the lad, I just hope that you might think a tad.
Are you MAD? Replied I
Can we not escape this Dungeon of Doom and Despair???? Alright, said he and led us off to the Cave of Prizes......

End of Part Two Please deposit an additional $20.00 to continue

On Being Present

This is a picture of some beautiful spring blossoms I saw the other day. Well, it WOULD be a picture if I had gotten around to taking that picture instead of assuming the blossoms would be around for the next couple of days.

Sadly, the wind came along and blew off the blossoms and now all I have is a rectangle of nothing-ness where a picture should be!

I regret not taking a minute to capture the beauty on film. I wish I hadn’t assumed the moment was mine to take right then or put off to a more convenient time. Sure, there will be other springs and other blooms, but not those particular ones.

Not today.

That annoys me

I don’t like missing opportunities.

I don’t like wind that comes whether you expect it or not and wrecks havoc with your lives.

I want to live in the moment. Be mindful of things going on in my life. Notice the beauty. Take a minute for people who need encouragement. Catch all the opportunities that come my way. Many of you are following the story of MckMama's littlest baby, Stellan who has been seriously ill for a week and a half with heart issues. It is a compelling story. I am so wrapped up in praying for them and hoping for a happy ending. There are literally thousands of people following what is going on. People have been taking pictures of his name next to famous people and places: the Eiffel Tower, the 1st President Bush, Iraq etc.... Pretty cool. The local news covered their story. What struck me the other day, though, is how amazing the human spirit really is. How we can band together and care for each other-- perform miracles of human kindness. So often we only notice the ugly stuff. Maybe it is that we are all sooo busy with sooo much on our minds that we just don't think about it but when the opportunity presents itself, we come together in astounding ways. Go check it out for yourself CLICK HERE.

I want to notice.

I want to be content.

Not like my niece’s hamster, Spice.

Spice could never be content with his very nice comfy habitrail with all the cool curvy tunnels and the soft white cotton stuff and all the food he could eat and the wheel thing. And the attention from my niece and my sister. No, Spice could never stop dreaming about the Big World. He would obsessively work the bars of his cage until he managed to squeeeez his tiny little drawf hamster body out onto the greener grass outside. Spice assumed that his furmom, Rebecca and my sister The (Wo)Man were holding him back from his greater destiny in the Big World. He was just sure that whatever was Out There HAD to be better than what was in the cage The Man held him prisoner in. He couldn’t Be Himself in that cage. He had to GET OUT. Spice’s escape wrecked havoc on the family because he didn’t care that No Hamster Is An Island unto himself. A hamster’s life decisions effect everyone who loves him. Spice’s great adventure caused a lot of anxiety in the house. And searching. And speculation about what to do!! Finally, several days later, Spice realized as so many of us eventually do, that there was a reason he was living in the lovely safe home full of food and soft cuddly white stuff and that the Big World had it’s down sides too. And we know this because he put HIMSELF back in that cage a couple of nights ago.

Yes, Lord help me be content in my life. Help me remember that my choices effect the people who care about me. Help me remember that all of life has its ups and downs and sometimes the grass over on the other side just looks that way because someone just spread manure all over it.

Amen

Chocolate Around The World: Part One

Geeez Groupies…. Gather round. It is time to tell a story. It is a long story so it might even stretch into several parts. WARNING: There may be several Big Words in this story so please feel free to expand your vocabulary via clicking HERE which will send you to an online dictionary.

Once upon a time there was a Lovely Princess.

She had a dream. She had a dream to hit it rich via lottery or other instant cash giveaway contest.

One day she got a call from a Fairy GodMother who told her that she had won a magnificent prize! Ooooooo What was it? It could be her dream car. It could be $100,000.00 It could be a home entertainment center. It could be LOTS of amazing things….

And all she had to do was come claim her prize and listen to a quick 90 minute presentation.

Sadly, this call came soon after the Princess’ alien brain chip malfunction (EBF) and loss of driver’s license and so the Lovely Princess had to beseech her Much Older Cynical Sister to chauffer her to the magic kingdom of Encino……..

Though she fought it valiantly in her younger years, the Older Sister has been overcome with a spirit of pragmatism which compels her to kill dreams and utter tomes of wisdom such as “No matter what they say or how cool it looks you are not going to buy a time share in Cabo San Lucas” No, the Older Sister is No Fun sometimes.

And so the day arrived for the trek and they set off at dawn armed with large diet cokes and egg mcmuffins to fortify them against come what may… and arrived in the magical kingdom of Encino about an hour too early. As providence would have it a Gelsons market was right across the street from the Castle of Awesome Prizes and so they wandered through the aisles of the store mocking the ridiculous prices and engaging in food porn fantasies.
Midway through the meanderings, a supernatural message from the great beyond was received telling them that the newest Hamster of the Realm had gone missing and that the Youngest Princess’ bed chamber smelled of hamster death. Hamster death? Hast thou not smelled hamster LIFE? And is there a difference? What to do???
“Come Home! Come Home NOW!!” said the Littlest Princess.
But since we had not yet heard the Prophecy of the Non-Time Share Time Share, promises were made to launch a search the likes of which the Home of Princesses had never known just as soon as possible.
After purchasing some cute little ramekins for the Littlest Princess to use for dip dishes, the Princess caught the eye of the Older Sister with some bizarre facial moves (momentarily making her wonder about that brain chip flaring up again) and directed her attention to a young woman who was purchasing an early morning breakfast of grapefruit gelato and a bagel who has apparently
FORGOTTEN TO PUT ON HER DAINTY UNDERGARMENTS
AND HER PANTS!
My Word!!! Instead she is wearing what can hardly be described as a skirt (because aren’t skirts at least 4” long?) and her very bare buttcheeks were hanging out for all the world to see.
Pardon me for being indelicate, Geeezers, but there are no delicate words to be used here. Honestly
And though we tried, it was not possible to get a good picture. Since we were done shopping and trying to take clandestine cell phone pictures we decided to imbibe in a hot beverage and sit in the atrium. As luck would have it, Little Miss Buttcheeks had taken her repast out into the same seating area.
Still we tried to get a picture (even when we drove away we circled around once and tried again) but were instead only treated to watching her talk to herself (no cell phone) eat and occasionally bop her head like she was listening to music (no ipod either) (Trust me, we looked).
Eventually it was time to leave, to our regret since we never were able to catch her on film.
The Older Sister, who possesses the Enchanted License of Motorability drove Lola the Faithful Chariot into the bowels of the Office Castle and the two Princesses rode the Delightful Elevator of Happiness up to the Reception Area of the Mysterious Dungeon of ‘We are not a time share’ Time Share Company.

This is the end of Part One. Please deposit another $20.00 into the machine. Thank you!