Monday: Will This Be 'Key Day'?

Yeah, STILL don't have keys!
Long weird story that I don't have time to tell just now cuz I am almost out the door to work, but various small silly things kept our loan from funding until Friday which means we should have keys today!
So keep praying, Geeezers! As I know you do!!
Over the past week we had our agent let the sellers agent know that we would like for them to go in the house one more time to take out anything they really wanted to keep. So they came and got the pool table and the fish tank and a couple other small things. Unfortunately left the rest of the junk (what kind of why of saying thanks is that?).
So tonight, God willing, we will be in there clearing out junk and taking stuff off the walls so the painter can start tomorrow.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Brandon & Jericho and Penny (my grand-puppy) moved in over the weekend so they could get out of their apartment so it is a full house here!
I had to close the cat door so Penny can't get in the house by herself (cuz she does fit) and so I have some confused kitties. So far Sam and Penny seem to be having fun together so that is cool. Sam loves him a little beagle, right Kathy?
Gotta run gang! Be on the watch out for further updates!

Pickford Renovations: The Downstairs WC Before

This is the downstairs bathroom. It is right outside Lauren's bedroom and will be her domain except when anyone downstairs wants to use the bathroom. It is tiny.
I can't wait until she tries to get all her stuff in there, lol.

Don't be thinking you can score that froggy decor, Chandra called dibs on it already.

Sorry. You snooze, you lose!!

Update

Well Geeezers,
No abulation after all-- just the original procedure. Apparently once the doc got in there he saw it wouldn't work.
Yea!
So I am doing fine. Thank you for your prayers!!

My Happy Thursday Fun

So here I sit the night before my little 'procedures'.
Have I described this to you, Geeezers? I think not.

(Fade in.....)
It is the late 1600's
There is a crowd gathered in front of a middle aged woman and one who would judge her.
"Woman, thou is accused of magic and the dark crafts--what say thou?"
"Kind sir, it is not dark arts neither is it adulterous passion, but only the menopause which causes these flashes of heat!"
The man reflects backward into history to find a suitable punishment for the woman.... back into medieval days for something barbaric and cruel as befits her crimes. Yea, a flashback within a flashback.

Aha! Thou sinful woman, thou shalt have an............

Abulation!

The crowd winces, gasps and draws back. This woman must surely be evil to be accorded such a fate.

Flashforward lo these many years to the doctors office as he explains the procedures and the risks of the surgery....

Blah blah blah.... little risk of transfusions.... blah blah blah........ pain drugs..... blah blah blah....sign this.. and this.... and this.... initial here..... wait, the underwriter has an issue with the broken banisters...... wait-- wrong flashback (that is the house-- can you believe they held up getting our keys because there are some broken banisters???).... back to the doctor... blah blah blah..... anethesia.... blah blah blah... no sex for 3 weeks... blah blah blah

WHAT????

HOLD THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!
No sex for 3 weeks.

THREE WEEKS???

THAT is truly barbaric!
That is inhumane
That is like 1.8 million seconds of not having human interaction and affection
NO WAY, PARKAY!!!
No one can live with that!
I almost got up and stomped my own bad self out of there!

(heh and you all know it is going on 13 YEARS since I have done the deed)

Well pray for me, Geeezers!

Pickford: Furniture Projects Before

Here is a peek at some projects I decided to do when I was supposed to be packing, but got distracted. This blue table, I am ashamed to say, is an antique and it belonged to my great grandma. I say ashamed because, in a fit of country madness in the 1990s I painted it BLUE. AND I STENCILED ON IT.
I know. I am sorry. In my defense the original finish was bad and had to be stained very dark because there were several colors of wood.
I will show you the after pictures later. It turned out great. I did however trip over it one night and bruised myself up something awful. Because I was working on it in the middle of my kitchen.

So this will be Lauren's new headboard. Yes, this was stenciled too. I was a stenciling FIEND back in the day.
Admit it, some of you were too. My mom still has stenciling in her kitchen I did.

This particular headboard has had the stenciling painted over and over in different colors to match decor. You will have to wait to see the finised product.

Pickford Renovations: Laundry Room Before

Finally, the laundry room. It is a very odd shape that even I, with all my wicked, mad geometry skills cannot identify. But best of all, they left us a twinkie.

I hope they don't come back for that!

Pickford Renovations: Garage & Yard Before

The outside. The front yard is totally dead.

The back yard is totally dead except for the tree in the corner that I have been watering over the fence because it hangs over into my backyard.
The backyard is tiny which is fine by me. They left 3 different barbeques, a trampoline and some play set.

The garage has a doughboy pool, some tree branches and about 100 old R & B cds. I hope they come back for that too. My Carolla, Lola, will be living in the smaller area to the right and my sisters GINORMOUS Expedition or whatever it is (it is like the space shuttle inside) will be living in the bigger side to the left.

Ode to Pot: A Haiku

In doctor's office
Gives me too much time to think
Time to write haiku!

Cleaning out cupboards
Purging of my possessions
What stays? What goes?












See this lonely Pot
Received as a wedding gift
Outlasted marriage

Sad to let it go
A longtime cooking partner
Is missing handle

Really need handle
For a heavy cooking Pot
Else many burned hands

People laugh at me
"Just buy a new Pot" they say
They don't understand

Pot has character
Seen history of family
Comings & Goings

Happy for new house
But it is still a turning point
Little bittersweet

Loy house was a sign
That I was a whole person
Not broken woman

Now for Monica
Restoring of her value
Symbol of new life!

Change is sometimes hard
Even when it is great change!
Maybe it's just me!

Say goodbye to Pot
Time to move along in life
Maybe get new Pot

Haiku distraction
Kept my mind off surgery
Feeling very Zen

Knitting: 2 weeks later

I would like to take a break from my daily house renovations to update you on how the knitting project is going. Be sure to contrast this with my last knitting post.

Pickford Renovations: The Family Room Before

The family room

Yet even more shelves and cables etc on the walls. Holes where there were things mounted etc.
And this very dark green that appears black.

Then there is the famous monkey rug on the floor. My sister wants to keep it.

Yeah
Seriously

Cuz it goes so well with the beer cupboard

The Missing Stove

Geeezers, Geeezers, Geeezers...
Many of you are up in arms about my missing stove and seem unable to figure out how to express your outrage via posting comments on my blog. I feel your pain!
#1-- keep trying to figure out how to post. You are smart people. You must be-- you love my blog! That proves you are an exceptional human being!
#2-- Foreclosures are 'as is' type situations. There is no walk thru. We did a home inspection but that was just so we would know if there were any problems (there weren't) but not to use as a negotiating tool. The fact that the stove is gone is an SOL situation for us. It is okay. We got this for such a ridiculous price you just can't feel badly about things like that. So it is okay. We picked out our new stove already. It has a window in the front and.... brace yourselves.... closed burners. Oh Glory!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?????
I can't wait to break it in!!!
So we signed the papers last night and will be getting keys on Wednesday!
We are almost there. It is so exciting!!

Pickford Renovations: The Kitchen Before

Ah, the kitchen
THE most important room in the house.


It is gonna be a great kitchen.
There is this cool green countertop. I don't know what it is but it is cool. I love it!
I don't love the junk they left in it however.




There is a broken glass table. That is going to go. Any takers?



There is a small breakfast bar and lots of counter space and white cabinets that are in good shape. White would not be my first choice, I would love cherry, but that is okay. And there is a garden window which I am sure the cats will love!



Here is a long view looking from the family room (green) all the way into the dining room (yucky Lakers color). It doesnt do it justice. Make note of the empty space on the right where the stove used to be. Apparently the ex wife broken in and took it a few weeks ago.
Never fear.. we are stove hunting even now.

Possibly the most puzzeling thing left in the house, given that the pool table would be a nightmare to get out of there fast, is the beer cupboard.

Oh yeah.
Seriously.

Pickford Renovations: Lauren's Bedroom Before

Lauren's room will be under-going a dramatic transformation. Currently it is an even more disgusting color of brownish purple than the living room.
And that is saying a lot

It is odd shaped and small but it is downstairs all by its self and that is heaven for a loud teenager. I think that black thing is a futon mattress, but I didn't move it so I dont know. There is a LOT of childrens books all over the closet and the floor. We will be donating them to the library. Unless the previous owners want them back. The kids books make me sad too!

Pickford Renovations: Master Bedroom Before

Okay so I forgot to get pictures of my sister's room. You will have to wait for the afters. It is a great room. The best part is you can look out the windows and see everyone's back yards. AND most of all you can see right into my current bedroom window. I can't wait to see if the film and the blinds and the curtains I have been using really actually work.
(In case you don't know this already-- the new house shares a back fence with my current house and that is where my son and daughter-in-law will be living. And NO, I am not going to try to look in their windows.)

The only pic I got of this bedroom is of the fishtank they left in there. That is right. A fishtank full of yucky water broiling in that house since April.
Oh yeah.

Retraction

WOW
That is SO NOT MY CLOSET!!!!
I had to turn my head to the side to really get a good look at it--- that is MY OTHER CLOSET!
There isn't a window in my bedroom next to the closet!
My closet in my room is SMALLER than that and it is full of shelvy things.

Pickford Renovations: My Room Before

And here we have my room.
I couldn't get a very good picture. It is bigger than it looks and I have cool windows that look over the front of the house and also the front door so I can drop water balloons on people when they come to visit and then act super innocent because who would believe that of a middle aged menopausal woman?

The closet is really wierd. Not really as wierd as this picture because I forgot to flip it. Just turn your head sideways to look at it. DO NOT roll your computer monitor over on it's side. It is full of junk and it has all those shelving things which would be cool if you are a toddler and don't have clothes more than 11" long. BUT I am also taking over the closet in the guest room so it is okay!

Pickford Renovations: The Living Room

The loan is ALMOST closed.
We have our Painter (Welcome Alex)
We have our Flooring Company (Welcome Dennis)
We have all you who are planning on so generously giving of your time to help us move (there are far too many to mention by name-- you know who you are)

So off we go into the land of "Foreclosed Home Renovation". Any other time I moved into a new home it was empty--- not so at Pickford. Won't you come along with me for a tour of the "Before" Pictures?


First Stop: The Living Room
Comes complete with a TV and lamp and an odd color somewhere between maroon and brown and purple-- an apparent ode to the LA Lakers because there are pennants up there too!
Yuck





And remnants of what had to be many many shelves full of audio visual equipment mounted to the walls


You can see the continuation of the ode to the Lakers with the Gold Ceilings. Nice touch.
And they left a very nice pool table which we hope to return to them mostly because it makes us very sad to think of them losing their house and also because, unless you are a sports fiend, it is just too darned big and takes up the entire living room.

Stay turned, sports fans, for further adventures of
THE PICKFORD RENOVATIONS

Remember This?

OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS COMPLAINING A FEW MONTHS AGO ABOUT HOW DANGED COLD IT WAS???????

Mutt & Jeff

Mutt and Jeff

PRONUNCIATION:

(mut uhn jef)

MEANING:

noun: A pair of people having dramatically different characteristics, such as height. (Just in case you thought I made this saying up)

My daughter, Lauren & my oldest niece, Ashlie. A little over a year apart in age (Lauren being older) and as different as night and day.
Ying and Yang.
Mutt and Jeff......
Lauren Dark haired and tiny as a little girl--- Ashlie blonde and a bit of a chunk as a baby. Lauren: Dramatic and Diva-like from birth Ashlie: Thoughtful and Serious. As a baby would give you this "You bore me" look. I would say to my sister "I think Ashlie hates me" But now, I know I am her favorite Aunt.
Seriously I am. Their favorite thing to do when they were little was to play dress up. We scoured the thrift shops for outfits which they wore until they fell apart. And often they were each other's dance partners-- though I am sure Lauren always led. Even now she leads. Ashlie following often out of sheer survival instincts as Hurricane Lauren passes through.

Ashlie was complaining to me tonight that I don't blog about her. Of course Lauren chimed in that I don't blog about her either. Silly, silly girls. Do you really WANT to draw that kind of attention to yourselves? Think of all the secrets I could tell.
When my eyes roll back in my head and I appear to pass out because your will NOT STOP SAYING "PIG FART" over and over again-- do you really think I am not listening and making mental notes? When you endlessly quote from the Very Harry Potter Musical-- do you think I don't hear you just because I have mentally attempted to escape to my happy place?
Do you think I learned how to sing along in German to the Tokio Hotel songs because I WANTED TO? No-- it was to survive the car trips without driving us into a tree. This is an amazing representation of the classic "Speak no evil, Hear no evil, See no evil" though my youngest niece, Rebecca looks more like she is doing a 'Home Alone' impression. She is little. I still have lots of time to work on her (heh). And we will soon be living under the same roof. (Run, Rebecca.... ruuuunnnnn!!!)





And Who Can Forget my classic blog Ice Age 5: How Teenagers Killed the Dinosaurs
Click HERE if you did forget

Because sometimes I do wonder "Will I live through the teenaged years? Will I have any brain left at all? Will there be enough psychotropic drugs to see me through???"

And then I see them together, bonded together since the day Ashlie was born. Close as sisters. Watching each other's backs. Comforting each other in hard times. Chatting for hours. Staying up all night to watch scary movies....

And I think to myself.........



SERIOUSLY.....
AM I GOING TO LIVE THROUGH THIS????????

Ode to Things That Are Annoying Me

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Cuz there is this incredibly LOUD alarm going off.

REALLY REALLY LOUD!

It usually goes off around 10:00pm and it scared us the first few times. We assumed that it was the emergency door alarm for the nearby strip mall because when you go outside it is impossible to tell where it is coming from.

I SAID: IT IS SO LOUD IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL WHERE IT IS COMING FROM!

One day Lauren and I got in the car to track it down. We went to the around the corner to the new house but it was fine. We drove to the Vallarta Market (Arriba, Arriba) figuring it had to be the back entrance-- but no esta la porta de Emergencia de Vallarta!! So we drive around and as we approach home we realize-- it is our neighbor's house alarm. And they set it off often.

The other thing that is irritating me right this exact moment in time is the lender for our new house. We are now smack dab in the middle of the 'Do you want the loan? Do you want it? Go get it!! Get the loan!!' (ala when you tease a dog with a toy) "Please jump through this hoop. Okay now we are going to set it on fire-- jump now. We need you to put your left baby toe in your right ear. Now jump up and down and sing the National Anthem.
Of Canada.
When will the loan close? What? I CAN"T HEAR YOU THERE IS A HOUSE ALARM GOING OFF IN MY EAR? Close what? WHAT???? I am sorry I will have to hang up now, ignore your emails and neglect to call you back for a day or so unless I want something.

And, Thank You For Doing Business With Bank Of America Home Loan Department!!"