Summer School Dropout

I hadn't planned on breaking the news like this or even really mentioning it, but my office mate Claudia told me that if I am going to post the good stuff I have to post the low stuff too.
You guys don't really want to know the unfunny side of me, do you?

So yesterday I realized I was overwhelmed and one of the big things I could let go of was my online English class. Since it was an 18 week class compressed into 8 weeks it was twice the work and the online format was difficult to navigate. Also the reading was dark and depressing and there was a lot of group work which is hard to manage online. Today was the last day to drop and not have it show up on my transcript, so I decided to pull the plug.
Then I spent the rest of the day beating myself up for being a loser and being irritated with myself. Some of you know I have been battling The Monster and I am pretty tired.

And still I am blessed with things I know. I know that my family and friends love me even when I am not perfect (and even when I have to ask them just to be completely sure). I know that God has a plan for my life and though I often wonder what He is doing I trust Him and know that I am his cherished child and He has covered me with His wings and snuggled me in close.

So I guess I can re-take that class another time (for the full semester and forget online!) and the world will keep turning. And I can be grateful for all the things in my life that are good and right and there are many! And I can love on those around me and let them love on me too.
And that is pretty okay after all, isn't it?

Why? WHY??????????

Yeah so I finally (FINALLY) figured out how to post my awards.
And now I deleted my cool background.

Yikes

Seriously Can ANYONE tell me what is wrong with my brain?

Anyone? Bueller???

Giant Asparagus: The Sequel

Do you remember my post several months ago about Giant Asparagus Invading Lancaster? If not, click HERE to review.

And here we have a picture of my niece Rebecca who bravely approached the Alien Visitor so I could document this strange occurrence.








Yesterday we went to the movies again and saw The Proposal (side note: Sandra Bullock is so thin. Yikes)
and we see that the Giant Asparagus have BLOOMED!!
This is my sister, Rebecca's brave mom, with the Blooming Asparagus.

(I googled "Giant Asparagus" and I have come to find out that the Alien Visitors are impersonating an actual plant called a Agave Americana.

Clever Aliens!!

Fishing

A few Sundays ago Brandon & Jericho allowed me to go with them as they went fishing. Some of you who know me will be shocked to know that I was not always terrified of fish and actually did a fair amount of fishing and even CAMPING as a child.

Stop laughing

STOP IT!!

Anyhowwwww amazingly, my dad still had my old rod & reel and tackle so he let the kids have it. They are both capable fisherpeople because my dad took Brandon fishing as a kid and Jericho's dad took her. Good thing their outdoorsmen abilities weren't up to me to provide. So we spent a lovely morning at Apollo Park.

Now, if you are not an Antelope Valley-ite this probably sounds a whole lot nicer than it is. So I will explain. The Antelope Valley is where most the flight testing has always been done for the Air Force. It is where the Space Shuttle was built-- and the Stealth fighters and bombers. It is where the Space Shuttle lands when it can't land in Florida. So about 30 years ago they decided to honor this rich history by building a park in the middle of NOWHERE. Seriously--- 5 miles out of town in the middle of the DESERT!!! It was a nice idea... but hasn't really lived up to the early promise. You can fish there and it is a good walking place and there are lots of ducks to feed. But it is WINDY and it is kinda harsh. Maybe they were trying to go for a Moonscape theme....


Speaking of water fowl... this park is the site of the very famous Attack of the Killer Geese episode. When Brandon was about 2 years old we were out there feeding the cute duckies when a Gaggle Of Killer Geese came out of nowhere (possibly from the future ala Terminator 6: The Geese Of Doom) and ran us off. We ended up on a picnic bench. Brandon was terrified. I don't want to say he was crying cuz now he is really big and he could hurt me. So I won't say it... deduce for yourselves. To this day he can't wear down jackets or have feather pillows.



Anyhowwwwwwww On this day,
the fish were safe. Brandon did reel in several very large globs of muck.

Beautiful Oasis

There are certain things I have absolutely no talent for in life--- one of these is gardening.

Proving that this is probably not a genetic disorder I give you my cousin Susie who's backyard has recently been named as a Certified Wildlife Habitat.



Kudos Susie!!! Isn't it beautiful?


Even the fish are beautiful. Just so long as they stay over there!

The Insect Scourge

It was a quiet workaday afternoon when the phone call came in.

It was my 17 year old daughter.

Hysterical

Crying

"OMG OMG YOU HAVE TO COME HOME AND HELP ME THERE IS A HUGE ENOURMOUS KILLER GRASSHOPPER IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!!!!!!"


She was right It was enourmous. I mean-- look at it-------->>>

It is like half the size of my computer monitor. And look at those FANGS OF DEATH!!!!

It was hard to get a good picture of it because it was moving so fast and it was so big! It was like that Cloverfield movie!!!

IT WAS A GIANT HUGE RAMPAGING MENACE!!!!




Fortunately, Malley was there to save the day. He is one brave cat, my Malley (Note the Godzilla sized grasshopper sticking out of his mouth)

Magic Mtn

Raise your hand if you like Magic Mountain! Crazy rollercoasters? I see those hands. It would make sense, then, that you might purchase a season pass to Magic Mountain. Can someone please explain to me, therefore, why I have one? Oh, of course... because SOMEONE has to drive over there. We broke in our passes a couple of Saturdays ago. It was Scooter's 14th birthday weekend so first we went to IHOP for breakfast. The older kids went off on their own to ride all the coasters that make me feel sick just watching from afar. The youngers and the old ladies stuck together. They are still pretty brave though and went on some big coasters. First my niece seriously asked every ride operator if it was safe. They always said it was. Filthy Lying Ride Operators! I worked at that park back in 1979 (yeah, I was working from the womb) and I know what those ride operators do after their shifts are over! I was there the year they used employees to test ride the coasters. I don't do coasters! But I can watch backpacks and read books! Oh yes I can! And I can watch the Carousel and think to myself about how all those pretty little horses bobbing up and down all the while chasing their own tails in a never ending circle is a metaphor for life. Life is full of ups and downs, and more ups and downs. Ack... who am I kidding.... lol!!! It is a Merry Go Round for crying out loud. Geeez LeAnn MUST YOU ALWAYS TRY TO FIND THE DEEPER MEANING! Hehe (why yes, I do!)

Summer School

So, the summer semester has begun. I am now deeply immersed in Literature.

Deeply.

Literature, ya'll.

You can tell by the MRI I had done today that I am clearly FOCUSED on the task at hand.
Still no word on the house. She is still playing hard to get. If you missed our exchange with House click HERE
This house thing is uber frustrating!
Good thing I have that Literature to distract me!
Don't be jealous, ya'll--- the fall semester college catalog just came in the mail today!!

House Hunting: The Green House

As you know we are doing a lot of house hunting lately.

One thing I just do not understand is why some people feel compelled to paint dark colors inside their homes. Of course, my daughter says that is because I am a REALLY BORING PERSON. But I like neutral colors. That doesn't make me boring. I just like a blank canvas upon which to project my creativity.
The House upon which we have bestowed our offer and which STILL languishes unaccepted has black walls in the family room and a living area with very high 2 story ceiling which is cleary an homage to the LA Lakers. The penants hanging on the walls are one clue, but the most obvious clue is the paint job: Purple walls and gold ceilings. Oh yeah. If we get this house some painter is going to be a happy camper! The room that would be my daughters is also a dark redish brown color but she is happy about that. Nothing screams teenager like a cave for a bedroom.
And as awful as that all is, it is nothing compared to this house we looked at the same day. There were pics of it online. See how lovely it is outside?



But the inside: 1900 square feet of brick red/orange paint.

Even on the ceilings.


And the floors have maroon carpet. Seriously. I couldn't make this up.


When we saw this house it was empty. It doesn't look better empty.

Can someone explain this to me, PLEASE???

Wordless Wednesday

This is a Wordless Wednesday Post
Why?
Because there simply Are. No. Words.

Ice Age 5: Teenagers Killed Off The Dinosaurs

An Abomination Against Nature And Felines Everywhere

I wish I could say that it was the EBF my sister suffered that really put her over the edge of sanity... but the truth is, she really is the same nutball she always was. Recently she bought a dog dress. As if that wasn't bad enough..... she bought it for her cat. Lily Here is Lily before being subjected to the horror that was to come. Just chillin on her cat tree. Minding her own business.
When suddenly.... she is apprehended. Held against her will and dressed.

In a dog dress.

A pink dog dress.


How could I stand there and watch this atrocity without intervening on her behalf?
It was a moral dilemma.
Truly


But after much soul searching I realized that it isn't the job of journalists as myself to judge or to interfere.
It is our job to accurately portray real life.

Dirty.
Messy.


Sometimes really really weird real life. We document. We don't engage.
We stand aside. Apart. Isolated.

And we remember that what does not kill us,
makes us stronger.

Forgive me, Lily.......

Jethawks

Friday night Lauren's Community Choir performed the National Anthem at our local Jethawks game.

The Jethawks are the farm team for the Houston Astros.


June is supposed to be a warm weather month but it was FREEZING!!.

We bundled up and cuddled up under blankets to watch the game.



Base ball is boring. Luckily the players were very adorable.
I mean the game started at 7:00 after an hour of warm ups that we had to sit through because Lauren had to be there early. The warm ups were the best part of the game. Sorry. It is true!
My daughter and older nephew played tug a war in the infield between some inning. He won


At one point they played "Who Let The Dawgs Out" and all the little kids all ran across the outfield. My younger niece and maybe nephew are out there somewhere.




About 9:00pm my sister and I decided the only way we were gonna get through the rest of the game was if we had chocolate. It was too cold to go get some ourselves so we bribed Zachary with another hot dog (that kid can eat!) if he would get us some chocolate. I love that boy, but he really blew it. He came back with 2 VEGAN chocolate chip cookies. Now, if that sounds gross you have to trust me--- they tasted even worse than they sound. Seriously. It is blasphemy to even call them cookies. What kind of baseball club serves vegan chocolate chip cookies???? It is just wrong.


So finally the game ended (YEA!) at 10:15 (see the proof?) and after there was yet another stupid infield game and dance by the Hawkettes (oh yes, Hawkettes, I said it) the fireworks began. They were very pretty.
Then we got to go home. It was a lovely family evening together--- the kind we don't often get since some of the kids live with their dad. Pretty Cold.. I mean Cool. Pretty Cool.

Spring Semester In Da Can Yo!

Wooo Hooo!
I can now waving fondly at Economics and Statistics as they lay behind me.
I have TWO WEEKS OFF before summer semester starts.
Then we will be embracing Reasoning & Literary Analysis (online).
That could really get my old brain working so I could be posting some Deep Stuff here on the old blog! So ready yourselves!!

My sister got released to drive this past Friday which is also very exciting but also kinda wierd and sad. I miss seeing her every day now. But she is enjoying making several trips to Walmart every day, so Walmart is ESTATIC!!

Dear Doctor Brainchipguy:
Thank you SO much for releasing Monica to driving once again. Our profits for the 1st quarter of the year were negativly impacted by her inability to drive over here whenever she wanted to. Sure she rode her bike many times, but she was not able to purchase nearly as many items because you can fit more in the back of an Expedition than a bike basket.
Love always,
Walmart


Still no news on the Casa de Fenner-Williamson. But we hear from our agent that this is normal and to be expected.

Having recently passed (hopefully) my college level statistics class, let me illuminate you all on the veracity of this statement.
Standard Deviation = The Square Root of the Sum of X squared multiplied by the Sum of X squared divided by 'n' which is the number of samples which is all divided by n -1.
And 90% of the normal sample size is within one standard deviation of the mean.

What does this mean?

We are still waiting to hear about our house. We feel ready. We have the financial stuff worked out. That house gets prayed over all the time.
But it is still playing hard to get.

Dear House:
Please accept our gracious proposal to become your new staff so we can get this show on the road. We promise to treat you with respect and will restore your lovely walls to something that doesn't look like The LA Lakers locker room immediately upon receipt of the key to your heart.
We promise to fill your kitchen with yummy smells.
We promise to bring your garden back to life.
We promise to bring life and love into you every single day!
Love always unless you break our hearts~
Monica & LeAnn